January 10, 2007

• Toddler Wisdom

  What’s Inside the Package

   

  A Toddler’s Life is controlled by HEP

  
  Little Joey swings a stick and suddenly he’s slated for College All-Stars
  twenty years down the road. Abby twists a silk scarf around her neck and
  suddenly she’s destined to be a fashion designer following her momma’s
  footsteps. Far-fetched? Not exactly. We are all influenced by the forces of
  heredity, environment, and personality. Noneteenth century Dartmouth College
  professor, H. H. Horne in his book Idealism in Education, links these relationships
  in plain words:

   

  “Heredity bestows capacity,

  Environment provides opportunity, and

  Personality recognizes capacity and
  improves opportunity.”

   

  Each force combines together to shape all
  of us—you, me, your sweetheart napping in the next room. The same Professor Horne
  is credited with saying, “A child is born in part, he is made in part, and in
  part he makes himself.” Heredity, it has been said, determines what we can do,
  and environment determines what we will do. Supervising all three aspects are
  the caretakers of life—enter stage right, Mom and Dad.

   

  [except from page13, On Becoming
  Toddler Wise by Gary Ezzo M.A. and Robert Bucknam M.D.]

  I am beginning this fascinating book which is a follow-up to the somewhat controversial (sadly, some people seemed to think it was an instruction book to parenting, not a guide- and thus blame it for their lack in good judgement and application of its principals) book On Becoming Baby Wise and it’s sequel Pre-Toddler Wise. As the above says, environment is a third of who Conor will become, and that said we owe the first two books much in giving the direction we needed to start shaping Conor. Conor’s ability to sleep through the night as soon as he did- all thanks to guidance from babywise book one and two. Believe it or not, his ability to work independently and spend time away from “Mom and Dad” as well as his security with and without us is also due to principles applied from there. Like a compass, it gave us direction- and like any sound navigator should do, we plotted the course from there.

  I encourage anyone going into parenthood or in the process to take a look at this series of books. As the authors say in the foreword, “Finally, we do not claim nor insist that this is all the information you will need to raise a toddler; it would take volumes more knowledge than we possess. Therefore, parents guided by their own convictions have the ultimate responsibility to research parenting philosophies available today and make an informed decision as to what is best for their family.”

  I encourage other parents out there to add this to their research- there are books by these authors on all stages of pre-adult life- from baby, to pre-toddler, to toddler, to pre-school, to child, to pre-teen, to teenage. I have all of them myself, and thus far have found it invaluable to deciding where to begin.

  Blame

  Now, if someone says “If he does *insert undesirable or annoying activity or personality trait* then it’s just your parents just revenge” because my own traits are coming out in him- well, now I can say “I’m only one fourth to blame”. Why?

  A child inherits one half of his genetic self from his two parents, one fourth of his characteristics from the four grandparents, and one eight of his biological distinctiveness from eight great-grandparents. Heredity passes to each generation two categories of traits- fixed and fluid. Fixed genetic traits are immune to nurturing influences. Fluid tendencies, however, are greatly impacted by the nurturing process.
  [p. 15]

  So I can point at my Mom and say “Well, you’re one eighth responsible yourself!”

  Likewise, she gets credit for an eighth of the good stuff too.

  -Patrick

  • 7:56 am
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