April 3, 2007

• Working Women- a choice or a trap?

  Watching the today show this morning, I began the episode thinking that
  perhaps they were exploring a new aspect to the present day restraints
  put on a mother. They started out speaking about the trends, how
  initially women fought for the right to work, then began to try to
  juggle a job and a child, and now are beginning to stay home more.
  However, they brought on an author who basically said that women who
  were staying home, but did not have the capability to support their
  children by themselves were, and I quote, “Letting your children down”… because what would happen if they divoriced, or their husband died?

  I must say, I was quite bothered by this. I was tempted to ask her
  “Have you practiced preparing meals with your feet? What would happen
  if you lost both arms, and you couldn’t make meals or provide for your
  children? I dare say that you’d be letting your children down, then.”

  And yes, I’m sure that she would try to dismiss the argument as silly.
  However, from a Christian perspective, that is how essential the
  marriage relationship is. The early Church was clearly told they had a serious responsibility
  to widows- to provide for them a place to live, food to eat, finances,
  etc. Why? Because it’s just as though they had lost a part of their own
  body. To say “make sure you can do the exact same kind of job the other
  can do, or else you are letting your family down” is like telling you
  to make sure you can walk on your hands incase you lose your feet, and
  to be able to write and open doors, prepare food, etc with your feet
  incase you lose your hands. Life doesn’t work that way- each part is absolutely necessary and does a very important but also unique job.

  Replacement parts?

  So how dare she tell women who are married, and want to stay home with
  their children, that they are making a mistake? How dare she criticise
  that choice, or criticize them for not being capable of supporting
  their family with one job alone? My Wife is capable of supporting our
  family, just enough- and she’s obviously not ‘made for it’. One day she
  will be able to stay home and I’ll take up the position of ‘bread
  winner’. Each of us has a role, and she uniquely has been able to fill
  the role she is in now- but every woman should not have to.

  What the author fails to mention is how the common trend of both
  parents working has created a trap. The cost of living has gone up, and
  it is almost expected that both parents will work. Jobs used to be
  under pressure to provide a certain level of benefits to their
  employees because in the past, that was the norm- one man had one job,
  and that job had to provide the benefits to support his whole family.
  We want the freedom for both genders to work, and that is fine and
  fair- but should we sacrifice the freedom for that same gender to not
  work? Is it right for those who are zealots about women working to try
  to force their ideals on those who believe that their primary place is
  caring for the family?

  Not a lesser job

  I’m responsible, for the time being, of the home and my son. I will be
  the first to say to anyone who dares to claim that this is not a job,
  a heavy responsibility that is equal in every way (and in some ways,
  BEYOND) to that of the spouse who is working… that they should take a
  trip to the centre of the Earth, lather up in crisco, and bake a while.

  Is it perhaps the fact that human nature says whatever we don’t have,
  we want? I’m not sure. I just know that managing a home- preparing a
  meal list, shopping for groceries and doing a wise and good job of
  purchasing them (those homemakers who actually save coupons and plan
  around sales and such have my deep respect), preparing meals every day,
  doing some tasks the ‘long way’ to save money (home-made items as
  opposed to store bought, for example, like home-made yogurt), keeping
  the house clean and organizing it, taking care of children and making
  sure they have healthy meals and mind-inspiring activities during the
  day… and then, after it is all over, still taking responsibility for
  house-hold tasks and children?

  That’s a JOB. And it is a job that if you don’t have one person
  primarily repsonsible for, it will result in feuds, frustration, undone
  jobs, and more. For a house to run at its best, I sincerely believe
  that you need someone who takes charge and heads up that part of life.
  And the responsibility of the Husband (especially when he’s not like
  me, the home-maker) is to finish up and assist with tasks that the
  homemaker has trouble finishing. And it’s the responsibility of both to
  focus on how they can support the other better with their job rather
  than how to get the other person to do their job in the way they want.

  I really think that society is making a trap that will force women to
  HAVE to work, or else risk hurting their family. I know plenty of women
  who might reply to that author, “And let me go so far as to say if you
  don’t shut up, you should be shot.”

  To say hands are less useful than feet or that feet are better than
  hands is foolish. But even more foolish is to say that in order for
  them to be equal, hands should be used like feet… we’d end up walking
  around on all fours all day long, and what would we be then?

  -Patrick

  • 8:52 am
  • 3 Comments