Part 2
[Note- when I originally wrote this, it was when I had more experience with another type of shampoo (Tea Tree, instead of mostly head 'n shoulders) and when my hair was not just shorter, but less filled out. Yes, that was just a week or so ago, but still, I paid more attention to it recently because of writing this when I first posted part 1 and I realise a couple things. 1) I really can only skip ONE day and get away with it looking nice, not feeling stringy or oily. 2) Men should NEVER USE 'hair' brushes or super fine ones (by hair, I mean, like hog hair, etc) UNLESS you want to look like a guest star on That 70's Show! At least, for me that is how it was. 3) Finally, and most importantly, just remember, for the guys out there, that every hair has different qualities, works differently with different shampoos or ways of treating it. Also, even a little added length or body (by body, I mean when the hair 'fills in'. When you first grow your hair out, the hair that, say, touches your ear will be thinner than when you have hair to your shoulders... then the hair around your ear will be MUCH 'fuller', with more body, and as a result... more oil, heat, etc will be on that area. Especially the back of your neck! So anyway, keep in mind these are just some silly spoutings and thoughts, have fun with 'em, don't take em overly seriously]
Okay guys, first
some advantages and disadvantages I have found as a guy.
Advantages:
Men’s hair can be healthier
No, I don’t mean
that being a man automatically does this. It depends on the person, but it is
possible you will have women who compliment your hair or are jealous of it if
you keep it properly groomed. Why? Lots of women (there are those who are VERY
delicate and careful with their long hair, or have experience growing it out,
and cudos to them) screw up their hair. Or at least they slightly damage it.
But a typical guy, who rarely uses (if ever) a blow dryer… or when he does,
only uses the ‘warm’ (NOT HOT) setting… and pretty much leaves his hair be…
especially a guy with naturally oily hair… well, when we grow it long, it’s
healthy. Really healthy. And it can look great. Women grow up using things that
damage hair- rubber bands (the metal part can shred it), hot blow drying
regularly, brushing hard through knots, constantly putting it in tight ponytails…
don’t believe me that such things have long term negative effects? Look here. Of course,
these things do not matter too much if you are not growing your hair very long,
but if you plan to grow it to your back or lower- like your lower back, or
waist… then read the guide, and don’t do them. As a guy, it is generally
recommended you do not go that long, so it is okay to do some of the things the
guide says not to. But if you want women to keep envying your hair, try to be
gentle with it, don’t blow dry it with a hot setting, etc.
It is new!
Yes, this simple
fact means a lot. Many women grow up forced from childhood to deal with the
unpleasantness of long hair. By the time they even have their first memories,
they are focused on the disadvantages. Some even see it as a curse- if they
want to look nice, they have to have it, but they hate dealing with the
disadvantages. Short hair becomes enviable… so when they finally get an excuse
to cut it, they do. No, not every woman thinks this way, but I have known some
who do.
We, on the other
hand, have grown up with short hair. It’s old, its boring. Long hair is new-
and as we grow it out, while we may notice and dislike some aspects, once you get
past the “middle stage” where it looks awkward and like we are way-overdue for
a haircut, it starts to really look nice. It is kind of new and fun, strange
even- the idea of waking up and seeing your own hair on your pillow. Or, for
me, even being able to see my own hair over my eyes at all… or cover my whole
vision with it!
I really like how
I look with long hair- it is new, fun, and exciting. And as it grows, it keeps
changing and looking different. I can do so much more with it! Tons of style,
choices, etc. Short hair, in comparison, was rather limited and boring.
It is easier to style!
Yes, for a GUY it
is. Now now ladies, before you kill me- realise we get different rules than you
do. If growing long hair also meant changing genders, then no… long hair would
be ten times harder to style. But it does not. Men are generally expected to
have simple styles. And when we do have more than a basic style- like some
layers and such- it is quite impressive. Which leads to…
It earns attention from women
If a lady sees
that not only do you have long hair, but it is healthy, nice looking, has a
great style (meaning, you had a hairstylist who layered it properly, etc, when
cutting it) and you did a decent job in the morning blow drying it… then wow,
that’s impressive.
A man who knows
how to take care of his hair earns some respect.
It can cost less to cut than women’s long hair would!
Now, some shops
may be wise to this, or try to change it on you, but most shops I go to have a
“men’s hairstyle” fee and a “women’s hairstyle” fee. So when I get my hair cut,
because I am a man- and most of the time, men’s hair is simpler to style, I pay
less! Woo hoo! I imagine it is also because, even when I grow it long, it is
still simpler to style. Now, eventually they might try to charge me more, who
knows. But you can always claim prejudice! “Hey, I’m a man, and your don’t say
“long hair” and “short hair”, you say “men” and “women”. If you don’t charge me
what other men are charged, regardless of my hair length, then you are being
deceitful and prejudiced.” 
Hee hee. Of course, no promises that you won’t
walk out of their with green hair and a crooked haircut.
Disadvantages:
My eyes, my eyes!
I am growing my
hair out to a ponytail, and most of the time when a guy grows his hair long
these days, he grows his bangs out. I am telling you, once they get to the
length that they don’t really cover your eyes, but are perfect to get IN them,
they start REALLY getting annoying. It was a relief when they finally grew to
cheek-length, because at least then they only covered them instead of poking
them. Even then, though, that meant that anytime I looked down… I had trouble
seeing. Also, since I part my hair let it sweep to my right, it tends to cover
my right eye… and it seems that my left eye is a bit blurry while my right eye
is my best eye. Great, just great.
I love to cook,
and I tend to do most of the cooking. I particularly like to use my very sharp
chef’s knife to hand-cut things and keep up on my knife work. If you don’t use
it, you’ll loose it. Of course, with hair in your eyes, you can also loose a
finger!!! I have had SO many close calls… all thanks to my blasted hair!
Solution? Well,
it ain’t pretty guys, but it works. Get rubber-bands… no no, not the kind WE
think of, the brown kind you use on paper. The kind girls think of when it
comes to hair- and as we are men, get nice black ones, and small ones at that.
I suppose clips would work too, but since my Wife has bands I use em. So clip
your hair up, or just use a hair-band to put your bands into a ‘pony-tail’ out
to the side. For me, since my hair is parted to one side and not in the middle,
I just do the longest side. Now, only do this when you aren’t around a lot of
people. As it looks goofy, and girly, and dorky. I suppose clips would be more
subtle, and I really should get some- but those do look slightly girly too.
Don’t do it around people who will harass you. But when you are doing work like
cleaning, looking down a lot, cutting, cooking, ANYTHING that requires your clear
vision and a lot of looking down or movement… it helps to have your hair out of
your eyes. Put that male pride away and just clip it.
Once your bangs
grow long enough to put into a ponytail, you can just use that- ponytails are
considered appropriate for guys, fortunately.
A TRICK to keep
it out of your eyes- while your hair is wet, use the brush to pull your bangs
back and blow dry it at the roots. It helps to ‘train’ your hair to keep out of
your eyes a bit more.
Some effort
Hey, it’s not
that hard to keep up if you do it right. But if you don’t? It looks gross. I
always hated it when a certain un-named relative of mine would, as a kid, go
days without washing their hair. It looked oily, greasy, and gross. I hated it
in college when a friend of mine who had long hair would let his hair look
greasy. Bleh. All it takes is two good goes of shampoo and some conditioner,
guys- and blow drying. Blow drying REALLY helps it too not clump up, and look
NICE. That’s all.
Growing out out process
There
are multiple methods. Most guys say “grow it long and don’t cut it for ages”.
Women who are planning to grow their hair really long say “cut it every three
to four months”, as this keeps it healthy- and for long long hair, healthy is
more important than speed.
I say, when you
are starting, let it grow a bit longer than normal- long bangs, long back hair
to the upper part of your neck, then get it lightly trimmed by your stylist
letting them know that you want to grow it out and this will be the last trim
for a while. My hair stylist said “Grow it as long as you can stand it… then
get it cut”. So I did- I went at least nine months before trimming it again.
When I came in, making clear I was growing it long, I just asked for a trim and
a style that would help it to look nice as I grew it out. She kept it nicely
layered, so that even as I grew it out it would not look as ‘ugly’ as it does
on some guys growing it out. Wouldn’t you rather your hair look ‘decent’ at the
same time as you grew it out? Of course, my hair always grows REALLY fast
anyway.
After that I did
not need it cut again until well after a year had passed and the longest part
of my hair was already down my neck. This was my second cut, and to date I have
only had two cuts since deciding to grow it out, and the cut that really
‘evened out’ my hair and gave it a nice layered look. It has really helped my
hair to look –really- nice as I grow it. This way I can keep growing out out
and it does not look shaggy or anything. My bangs neatly frame my face, and I
really really like it.
Hair cuts are
also a LOT FASTER now for me. Of course, that is because when my hair was
short, as a guy I wanted it to look nice and styled- so I would get the ‘messed
up’ style and they would take forever using these shred-thinning sheers and
styling it, etc. It is a lot faster to get it trimmed and layered, even with
getting it washed.
Keeping it Clean
Everyone
has their own way. Saying that is a pre-requisite to avoid folks griping at me.
And let me also say that I am still learning about long hair- most of what I
know right now comes from my limited experience and the guides of more
experienced folks I have read. As for how I keep my hair clean? Well, that’s
just what I have been doing, and it works. Now, long term for really long hair-
two shampoos might be a bit much. I know that keeping one’s natural oils on is
very important, after all. But two shampoos really gives it a nice look and
results in less work.
So
here is what I do when I wash mine, and care for it at the same time:
1.
I try
to brush my hair BEFORE washing it. With long hair, it is generally best to do
any knot-removing brushing PRIOR to getting it wet. BE GENTLE on knots or
tangles- work a flexible brush (and try not to use a fine brush unless it is
made of hairs like pig-hair or something) through it and use a broad-toothed
wood comb or, as a guy who won’t grow it super long, a broad brush with
flexible rubber ‘prongs’. If it gets stuck, gently let it out and try to gently
brush through that part- holding the hair so it doesn’t pull at your scalp. Men
have more sensitive scalps than women because we don’t tug at it a lot- go with
it. Don’t let it hurt- pulling so it hurts means you are damaging your scalp,
so stop. Same with blow-drying: if it hurts even a little, stop, it is too hot.
Get a blow-dryer with a ‘warm’ setting that does NOT hurt, and if you can’t
hold it close to your scalp without it burning, it is too hot for your hair.
(note- you should brush your hair daily to avoid tangles. DO NOT BACK BRUSH.
Meaning, only brush straight down, or perhaps down but from the ‘inside’ of
your hair. Some women, dealing with a tangle, will hold their hair from the
ends and brush UP it… BAD BAD BAD for your hair)
2.
I
shampoo it twice. Ideally, I shampoo it the first time with a GERNEROUS amount
of head and shoulders shampoo, and the second time with a relatively small
amount (adding more if needed) of tea tree special shampoo. Tea tree is
expensive, but it is GREAT on your scalp, avoids dandruff, and helps with oily
hair without drying your scalp out. The cheaper shampoo gets your hair cleaner,
and then you only need a smaller amount of tea tree to ‘finish the job’.
Optionally, you can alternate between washing with one shampoo, and then the
other. Up to you- I do method 1, and use both. Right now I’m out of Tea Tree
and conserving money, so I use just two washes of head and shoulders. It works
well.
3.
METHOD
is important, especially with long hair. With short hair I could scrub-a-dub
vigorously. You want to be gentle now, and not put stress on your hair
follicles. I pour the shampoo into one hand, then put some on my right side of
my scalp, some on the left, some on the back ,then the rest of it on the top.
Then I massage it in. After that, I add more if I need to until it is
thoroughly into my hair, and then work it out into the rest of my hair. With
long hair, it is best not to run your fingers through your hair much- just hold
your hair together, like into a ponytail, and work it gently down throughout.
The second shampoo, if you do it, shoulder be much easier as it foams more.
4.
I use
Tea Tree special conditioner, and since it requires a very small amount, I use
a bit more than it recommends and focus on gently working it well into my
scalp. Then I work as much as I can down my hair.
5.
As the
‘guide to long hair’ recommends, after this I will turn the water as cool as I
can stand (since I’m not growing it out super long, I don’t make it cold cold,
just cool). I won’t go into the details, but this is good- makes your hair less
likely to fall out. And guys, especially if you aren’t a teen anymore, this is
GOOD. No guy likes loosing hair. Even if baldness isn’t on your maternal
grandfather’s side and you aren’t in your thirties or older.
6.
Dry it
gently. No more super fast scrub-drying. Women tend to pull it into a ponytail
sometimes and squeeze it gently out in the shower, and then word a towel down
it the same way sometimes. Some won’t even blow-dry it, but just wrap it in a
towel, etc. It really does look nice, if you don’t plan to grow it really long
(and most men won’t want to), to blow dry it. If you do, follow my advice.
7.
Blow
drying: As said above, WARM and NOT HOT. If it feels the slightest bit
uncomfortable if you hold it near your scalp for a few seconds, then turn it
down- or get a blow dryer with a cooler, but still warm, setting. Start drying
from the roots, and then work your way out. Brush from the ‘inside’ of your
hair, after brushing down the outside with a broad-toothed brush. Brushing out
from ‘under’ your hair and blow-drying out at the same time gives it body. If
you had it properly styled by a good stylist who layered it, then even when
your hair is still growing out and is not ‘really long’ yet, it will look nice!
The ‘awkward stage’ passes by much more quickly this way.
CONDITION YOUR HAIR: Conditioning is NOT AN OPTION. It
makes your hair fresh, shiny, nice looking. I grew up with conditioner since my
Mom and Sister used it, and encouraged me to use it too. So I did. Of course
since I have naturally oily hair, conditioner meant I needed a good shampoo to
keep my oily scalp under control, so Tea Tree was good. If you have oily
scalps, guys, Tea Tree is the ONLY thing that works for me. And if you are poor
or don’t like spending a lot on hair, just buy a big think ‘o tea tree shampoo
and tea tree conditioner, then buy some head and shoulders shampoo from
walmart. And use my method to conserve your shampoo. If you are even tighter,
just use tea tree conditioner and head ‘n shoulders.
What works for my hair might not for
yours
Tea tree works for me. But all hair
is different. It might not work for you. Try my method, try other shampoos and
conditioners, find what works well. We’re guys… we tend to like simple and
stick with it, so if you are like me, you will probably just want to try my
method and stick with it. And hey, trust me, a method that means you can go a
couple days without washing hair is a handy one.
A great journey
Long hair has been a great journey for me.
It is great to see people now that I have not seen since before I started
growing it out. Of course, I get the “Hey Jesus!” jokes on occasion since I
have a neatly trimmed beard along with my hair. Hey, I got the Jesus and
Abraham Lincoln jokes prior to long hair, so of course it continues now. But I
really like it. I feel better about myself and I enjoy having long hair- plus,
if your face is thin and long hair might make your face look too thin, growing
a light, neatly trimmed Vandyke/goatee or a beard that is trimmed at or just
below the jawline helps to fill out your face and prevent long hair from making
it look too thin.
I personally do not see it as any kind of a
rebellious statement. I go to a church that, while being conservative in
theology, is relaxed in terms of dress and hair. I go to church in short pants,
myself- and hey, if your church would ask someone to change their dress because
of hair or short pants, what happens if a non-believer dressed that way comes
in? And is that really what you want them to be changing? The Bible teaches us
that the most important things- the things God sees- are inside us. Our
behaviour, our heart. As a Christian, I should be changing my behaviour-
looking at choices I make that displease God that clearly violate his word, not
‘borderline issues’.
So, give it a try sometime guys!