The first in the full story of Conor's birth. Enjoy!

On the same page- Conor’s Birth

In order to get everyone on the same page,
it’s about time I sat down and gave a brief (I’ve explained it enough I don’t
have tiiime for the long version, and I’d bore everyone anyway!) run-down of
the birth. There’s a LOT that happened! The end result is a healthy baby boy-
with a little jaundice, which is normal- and a somewhat tired Katrina. But how
we got from point A to point G is a bit more complex! This way you all (and
anyone else who wants to know what happened) can read it here and future
conversations can all start off from the same page!

Pre-Labour

I mentioned in a previous post the Easter
Lilly Story- you can go back and take a look if you like. Here’s how it
happened. Monday night Kat didn’t get more than a few hours sleep, and that
more in the early morning. I got a LONG nine hour sleep, and woke up on my own
around when her alarm for work went off- about 7 AM EST. About this time, when
she woke up, she began having a different feel to her normal braxton-hicks contractions-
or “practice contractions” if you will. Instead of a specific cramping feeling,
it was more like the broad kind a woman gets around her period- it started
mainly on one side and later spread to the other, starting in her back and
going to the pubic area. From this point on, Katrina never really let herself
believe this was the “real thing”- no matter how much convincing it took. It
was not until her water broke, and she stated this, that she would really feel
“this was it”.

Meanwhile, Mom has an Easter Lilly that
belonged to Kat in college. It was almost dead, but she nursed it back to
health over the last few years, and it bloomed already earlier this year. It
was outside, and so it shouldn’t bloom again- but one single bud came up, and
Mom was certain that it WOULD bloom when Conor was being born. That morning,
ten minutes before I snuck a call to her, Mom (who looks at it every morning,
so knew it hadn’t bloomed the morning before) looked and saw that it had
bloomed for the first time. She was going to call and tell me- but I got her
first. Before she could say anything, I told her… labour had started! She
responded, “I knew it… you may not believe me, but the lily bloomed this
morning.” I made her promise not to tell ANYONE but Colleen, and later I agreed
Dad could know- so she sucked it up, and when her good friend and neighbour
called she said “No, I was wrong” when asked about the lily- even let Anna
laugh at it. I’m sure Mom got the last laugh, though.

Kat stayed in pre-labour overnight, and the
next day- Wednesday- I called our Bradley (natural birth method, you can google
it) instructor, Janalee, who is a dear friend and has guided us a lot. She felt
that we should just go on with life, not focus on the pre-labour, but she had a
feeling this would be a long labour and this very well could be it. Conor was
officially due on November 25, but based on Kat’s chart of her period he was
due on the 18. However, labour started on November eighth! If she could eat,
drink, and function well- getting the rest and nourishment she needed- then we
should let it play out. However, Kat had NOT gotten a solid sleep at all since
Sunday night- the fact she got a poor sleep Monday night was just really bad
luck, it seems, and made things worse. We decided Wednesday that we would call
the midwifes and move our Friday visit up. If they wouldn’t do that, then we
would just come in to the emergency room like we would if she were in full
labour (full first stage, contractions 5 minutes apart, etc). They got us an appointment…
ironically, with the ONLY midwife of five midwifes that we had NEVER met with
up until this point. It was frustrating- we didn’t know her, and she didn’t
really know us or understand our desires yet- so it made communication
difficult in the middle of things.

To Induce, or Not to Induce

Katrina wanted to be induced by this point,
and Janalee had said she wouldn’t blame us at all by this point. We wanted a
natural birth- and if Kat could have gone on, it probably would have been about
Thursday or Friday at the earliest before her body moved on to full labour on
its own. However, Katrina was wearing down, and by that point she would have
had serious trouble with exhaustion. She wasn’t favourable for induction- and
while she was 38 ½ weeks along, due to the fact her original blood test put
Conor a week younger she was 37 ½ weeks old. The midwife, since she felt Kat
had motive, would not believe her- and said that even if the baby were
favourable for induction, she could not induce her at 37 weeks. She was going
to let her go, but… she couldn’t get the baby’s active heart-rate to get up
quite as high as she wanted. It wasn’t BAD, but it didn’t meet their “official
criteria”. So she had an ultra-sound done to check. The woman who did it said,
very clearly, “This is probably an eight pound baby! There’s no way he is just
37 weeks.” She rated it a 4- I’m not sure what that means, but apparently it
was a 4/8, and that was enough to get us to suddenly be sent to the labour and
delivery. Our new midwife apologized for the mistake- that he was indeed 38 ½
weeks due to his size- and said she would induce Katrina.

After this, everything went awry- at least,
for us. We’d planned around a natural birth, and we were trained to watch the
body for signs… but these signs and stage are based around a body delivering
WITHOUT unnatural conditions or drugs. The two induction drugs they gave her-
the first one, sydotec (sp) was used off-label, to induce but also mostly to
thin out her cervix, since she was only about 20% effaced. The next morning we
started a pit (I forget the full name, something like pitosin) drip IV, which
would push her forward slowly into full labour. The draw-back was there was no
break- breaks her body would normally have given her. Since most women induced
use pain medication, Kat was going at this behind from the start. Wednesday
night was a long, hard night with no sleep from Kat. She went from light
labour, to very uncomfortable labour by morning on Thursday. By Thursday
afternoon she was in hard, painful labour. I was ready to hear, based on her
body signs and the pain- and the fact she was begging for an epidural- that she
was in transition, and soon she would move on to second stage, and get some
relief. But that is how it would happen naturally- this was with drugs.

So we were informed late afternoon that Kat’s
cervix was 90% effaced… but… she was dilated only 1.5 out of 10. This was just
the start of some of the heavier labour, and it could go another day at least.
Kat and I had agreed ahead of time that we would not use pain medication, and
to avoid the fact she would beg for it when transition came- it’s very common,
even in natural birth- we agreed that it would NOT happen unless I agreed to
it. Oh, and that morning our midwife had changed to one we knew- the one we
both liked and wanted- Terri! Kat also liked Linda Ballist, who… by God’s
grace… ended up being the one who took over her delivery about an hour before
she gave birth! But I’m getting ahead.

(To be continued... since nobody likes a nine page entry, and that's how long this story is...)

This is a re-post from over a year ago: the series of posts that I posted immediately after our son Conor was born. Enjoy!

Introducing: Conor Ross Flanagan
Born on November 11 of the year two thousand and five at 10:06 AM on a warm Friday morning in South Carolina.
Weight: 7 pounds 12 ounces
Length: 20 3/4 inches
Head: 13 1/4 inches
Chest: 13 3/4 inches

Both the first one and the above picture were taken within fifteen
minutes of Conor's birth, immediately after his oxygen mask was removed
(to be sure he began breathing well, since his cry was not as strong as
they wanted). We have pictures taken a day or two later, but I feel
these pictures capture his personality even better than more recent
ones. He was, from the minute he came out of his mother, a beautiful,
bright eyed baby. I'd expected- like many stories- that my baby could
be "butt-ugly", so I was incredibly and pleasantly suprised!

After at least fifteen minutes or more- maybe 25 to 30- Katrina was
able to stay conscious and was ready to take her baby, while Linda
Ballist (her midwife) continued to sew up the vaginal tear from the
tight birth. (and no, there is no nipple visible in this shot- not that
you should really care. This IS a special moment after all!)

Conor slept peacefully on my chest the very day of his birth, after
everything calmed down and Kat and I got to rest and I brought Conor
back from his probing and violations at the nursery. This is NOT from
that day- Kat could not reach the camera- but it is the same situation,
happening again this morning (Sunday) before we left the hospital in
the afternoon. Here, Conor is still only two days old.

I have more shots, but this is a good summary. It is a long, and
incredible story. I got to hold Kat's leg along with my Sister, my Mom
comforting Kat at the 'North end' (wiping her forehead, putting ice on
her, giving her ice chips and water to drink) while the midwife helped
widen the vaginal opening, lubricate it, and coax the baby further out
step by ever-slow step. Some people talk about how Father's take such
things roughly- I was fascinated. Rather than hurting for Katrina, I
was incredibly proud of all the work and effort she was putting into
getting Conor out! An hour before birth we were told that there was a
50/50 chance that if she tried to continue to birth Conor vaginally,
she might find his shoulders caught and she could be forced to have an
emergency c-section. But Linda was an incredible midwife, and she
immediately said- when she looked (she replaced Terri, our previous
midwife, whose shift ended... and I think she felt Linda could do the
job best, too) she said she was sure if Kat tried, she had a good
chance at doing it.

It was a beautiful experience, and personally I wish I could be
involved in more births. Heck, I wish male midwifes were acceptabled
because I'd BE one. Of course, a lot of women would probably not be
happy with that- they probably only accept male OBGYNs because they are
doctors and... well, doctors are often men, and know best, or at least
that is what they say. *laughs* Personally, I liked the female midwifes
we had. What doctors helps his patient make their bed, and then spends
half an hour chatting with you and calming their patient down? None
that I know of have time, even if they wanted to.

There are many more pictures and stories to come. Until then, I am glad I can now officially announce the birth!

Sincerely,
The New Dad- Patrick

This morning I auditioned for a part in the musical The Secret Garden, singing the song "If I can't love her" from Beauty and the Beast the musical. I must say, it was a good choice- rather than singing something from Secret Garden. Quite honestly, most of those songs were duets or involved multiple singers and the male voices were tenor or high baritone range. I can do it, but it wouldn't have demonstrated my voice at its best. As it is, they only had me sing the first part- so I didn't get anywhere near to the top of my range. I do not know if I will get a part- my personal hope is just to be a part of the chorus, which I think has a bass/baritone part for me in it. I really do not think that at this point I have the voice for one of the lead roles- not in this musical, with a mostly tenor range.

It does make me want to get involved in choir again at the least- voice lessons wouldn't hurt either, but I could practice on my own enough to extent my range. My voice is really out of practice and my range much reduced from what it once was- and was becoming, as well.

I'd love to be a part of a musical production, so even being in the chorus or an understudy would be wonderful- some incredible girls and a few adults adutioned this morning as well, and I can tell the quality of the cast is going to be just wonderful. Even if I cannot be in it, I will definitely go to see the final product. I strongly encourage you to consider buying the soundtrack to it! It was delightful to listen to the whole soundtrack through with my Wife- it made her want to read the book again. If you have ever listened to or enjoyed musicals like Les Miserables, Beauty and the Beast, or any sort of musical you will definitely enjoy this one. It has some absolutely beautiful and elegant harmonies and songs with a variety of music styles from classical, to Irish, to Indian style.

I encourage you to listen to one of my favourites- a song the hunchback Uncle of the main character sings to his son, who they feel is very ill and he fears also has his hunchback. He only sees his son at night, while he sleeps, and in this song is speaking to his sleeping son- who has never met him while awake.

-Patrick

Audition

Tomorrow I have an audition, and I am both excited and unsure. I really don't have the vocal range for any of the lead parts in the musical I am auditioning for, but I might be able to do the baritone part in the background ensemble. Katrina found the audition in the paper, and encouraged me to do it- she thinks they'll be impressed by my voice. I found her idea caught on, and now I'm pretty excited about it- it is a former broadway musical. I'd be delighted to even play a background part. Two of my top three favourite passions- acting AND singing! (writing being my third) I just lack the high range needed for many male musical parts. So, I'm going probably for tomorrow morning and we'll see what they think.

Your prayers are appreciated- it really would be a joy to be a part of this. And at the very least, I really want them to see me at my best. I'm going to sing the song "If I can't love her" from the musical version of "Beauty and the Beast"- the solo of the beast. That's my demo song, not the musical I'm trying out for. I'll suprise you with the musical name once I audition. Here's hoping!

-Patrick

By the Ambassador Singers, the choir of Columbia International University during 2002-2003 whilest I was a member of the bass section. I hope this song blesses you as much as it did us as we were able to be a part of the power and energy that was involved in singing it. A capella

You are my...

SUNSHINE!

I was playing with my freeware audio program, and discovered the nifty ability to sing... with myself! The first one was a little try-out I did off the top of my head, no pre planning. The next one I did three parts, myself, and while a little bit more intentional it isn't like I had any music to go by- so I just kind of created the parts as I went along. I honestly liked the feel of the first one better- a little more casual and special. But the second one took some time and is a fun 'trio' sound. Tell me what you think... keeping in mind I KNOW I go off key a little in the first one, and that each of the two are in different keys.

What's Inside the Package

A Toddler's Life is controlled by HEP

Little Joey swings a stick and suddenly he's slated for College All-Stars
twenty years down the road. Abby twists a silk scarf around her neck and
suddenly she's destined to be a fashion designer following her momma's
footsteps. Far-fetched? Not exactly. We are all influenced by the forces of
heredity, environment, and personality. Noneteenth century Dartmouth College
professor, H. H. Horne in his book Idealism in Education, links these relationships
in plain words:

“Heredity bestows capacity,

Environment provides opportunity, and

Personality recognizes capacity and
improves opportunity.”

Each force combines together to shape all
of us—you, me, your sweetheart napping in the next room. The same Professor Horne
is credited with saying, “A child is born in part, he is made in part, and in
part he makes himself.” Heredity, it has been said, determines what we can do,
and environment determines what we will do. Supervising all three aspects are
the caretakers of life—enter stage right, Mom and Dad.

[except from page13, On Becoming
Toddler Wise by Gary Ezzo M.A. and Robert Bucknam M.D.]

I am beginning this fascinating book which is a follow-up to the somewhat controversial (sadly, some people seemed to think it was an instruction book to parenting, not a guide- and thus blame it for their lack in good judgement and application of its principals) book On Becoming Baby Wise and it's sequel Pre-Toddler Wise. As the above says, environment is a third of who Conor will become, and that said we owe the first two books much in giving the direction we needed to start shaping Conor. Conor's ability to sleep through the night as soon as he did- all thanks to guidance from babywise book one and two. Believe it or not, his ability to work independently and spend time away from "Mom and Dad" as well as his security with and without us is also due to principles applied from there. Like a compass, it gave us direction- and like any sound navigator should do, we plotted the course from there.

I encourage anyone going into parenthood or in the process to take a look at this series of books. As the authors say in the foreword, "Finally, we do not claim nor insist that this is all the information you will need to raise a toddler; it would take volumes more knowledge than we possess. Therefore, parents guided by their own convictions have the ultimate responsibility to research parenting philosophies available today and make an informed decision as to what is best for their family."

I encourage other parents out there to add this to their research- there are books by these authors on all stages of pre-adult life- from baby, to pre-toddler, to toddler, to pre-school, to child, to pre-teen, to teenage. I have all of them myself, and thus far have found it invaluable to deciding where to begin.

Blame

Now, if someone says "If he does *insert undesirable or annoying activity or personality trait* then it's just your parents just revenge" because my own traits are coming out in him- well, now I can say "I'm only one fourth to blame". Why?

A child inherits one half of his genetic self from his two parents, one fourth of his characteristics from the four grandparents, and one eight of his biological distinctiveness from eight great-grandparents. Heredity passes to each generation two categories of traits- fixed and fluid. Fixed genetic traits are immune to nurturing influences. Fluid tendencies, however, are greatly impacted by the nurturing process.
[p. 15]

So I can point at my Mom and say "Well, you're one eighth responsible yourself!"

Likewise, she gets credit for an eighth of the good stuff too.

-Patrick

Got a new car- we had to go in debt for it, but God will provide us the means to handle it in His time. It wasn't too expensive at all- we really got a good car for the money we paid, and I'm very happy with it. It is a Kia 'Spectra' I believe- a four door compact car, automatic, cruise control... as in many Asian cards built for size and efficiency, it doesn't have the touch panel 'fancy' look of American cars but it makes up for it in having GREAT stearing and break work and handling very nicely. It also has great gas mileage and is a 2002 model with under 90,000 miles on it. Since its an Asian make, and should last a lot longer than 200,000 miles- at under $4,000 we were REALLY blessed with a good used car. We'll have a mechanic look it over tomorrow to make sure it is good, but I get a good feeling. We bought it from a dealership and their reputation is built on thoroughly checking out and repairing every used car they have- we'll double check it, but I think it will be what we expect. God's got our backs.

It doesn't have to be fancy or big name- it is a good car that should do a wonderful job, much better than the two bigger but OLDER cars we had that ate up a lot of money in gas and repairs. The only 'problem' it had was a big dent in the rear side from a past accident apparently, and that's purely cosmetic. My old Ford Taurus looked FAR worse, even before its 'demise'.

Thank you for all your prayers.

I pause... and think about what I want, what I really want most right now in this moment. As the poem below says, God's name is I AM. And He wishes to give me the uncorrputed desires of my heart.

So what do I want?

-I want someone to be near to me, to be surrounded by comfort and caring presence.
-I want to be able to rest, knowing that yesterday will be resolved and tomorrow will not bring misfortune and hurt.
-I want a clear direction, so that I know each sucessive step I must make.
-Peace in my heart, and in the hearts of those around me.
-To know that my family will have the food and provisions it needs.

I write these things that I want at this very moment, and I realise that all of these things are promised to me as a follower of Jesus. My worry and unsettled feelings are because I fear the lack of these desires being met- but now I reason that because I know by faith in my God the promises and words of scripture are true then I also know these needs are all to be met and to say otherwise is false.

And I find peace with the Lord. And to sum it up, His word says at times like this to 'sit back, and watch me work my stuff'.

-Patrick