October 30, 2006

  • Less entries

    I have put up less entries lately because I did not want to scoot back my grand collage about Conor too much. I am quite proud of it and I wanted it to be easily accessible to those who come looking for it, or who are just wandering through the page.

    If you ever go wandering through either an Asian market, or the international/Asian section of a supermarket, look for "Chinese five spice" powder- or just "five spice". It is a mixture of five spices often used in Asian cooking, and in Taiwan it was incredible on chicken grilled on the edge of the street. My discovery is that a good shaking of five spice on apple sauce- just the store bought kind- is absolutely deeeelicious. It is a good way, as well, to make the food interesting without adding sugar or such.

    -Patrick

October 23, 2006

  • Space Food

    Did you ever wonder how exactly NASA's "dry ice cream" was made? If you go to a museum often times you will see, in the shop, packets of rather expensive freeze-dried ice cream. It tastes like ice cream, but it is DRY. How'd they do that?

    It is the perfect way to store food. When you dry food normally, in the sun or in heat, you don't just take out the water- you also cook it a little, changing its flavour/texture. Water is necessary for bacteria and other things which cause food to go bad over time. Without water- no water, no change. So food can stay the 'exact' same way virtually forever. All you do is add water.

    So how do you do that?

    The Secret

    It's rather incredible, and I just discovered it today. The pressure at sea level is 1 Atmosphere... you go lower, it gets above that, higher, less than that. In space, a complete vacuum, well- I think there is probably no pressure at all.

    Water works different at different pressure. You ever hear that water boils faster high in the mountains than it does at sea level? It's true. The less pressure, the smaller the range is that water can stay a liquid. Guess what this means? There is a point, when pressure is almost gone, where water CANNOT become a liqiud at all.

    So what happens to it when it gets hotter, above 'freezing'- its solid point?

    It skips the water stage and turns right into gas.

    So what does that mean?

    It means if you take away air pressure, and heat water, it becomes gas.

    So, say you take food and freeze it in a special chamber. Then, you lower the pressure- to be scientific, they say to .6 atmsopheres I think. Maybe it is .06, but what do you really care? :P Very low pressure. Then, raise the temperature just a little. What happens? The water, which is frozen and seperated from the food, suddenly changes- but it can't become a liquid. So it becomes a gas, and leaves the food slowly.

    After doing this for days, the food becomes almost totally dry. If you dry food in heat, it is only 90-95% dry... if you do it this way, it is almost completely, totally dry. AND- the food is exactly the same as it was before it was dried.

    So, add water, and guess what? It tastes the same as it did before. Even if you add water 100 years later, so long as you kept it sealed in an air-tight bag so no NEW water could get at it.

    This sort of food is actually available for us normal people, such as hikers or people worried about natural disasters. You can store lots of it, and then if an emergency happens or you are hiking- you add boiling water to it, and it turns into normal food. Or, if you are like me and enjoy the cool idea of eating 'dry' strawberries that still taste like real strawberries or something, just eat it dry.

    -Patrick


October 21, 2006

  • Writing

    I have been posting a little of my writing lately on an online writing site, for fellow readers and writers to share and review works. I did not get a lot of feedback at first, but lately I have begun to get a growing number of readers and reactions. I am *pleasantly* surprised! I have had authors I truly respect and are even professionals- even ones who are not very into, nor familiar with, the fantasy/sci fi genre who have given me wonderful reviews and gone so far as to say "you are an incredible writer!" or "your stories are my favorite on *website name*". I've been really excited, but also encouraged because they aren't just fluff- they also give truly constructive critique as to how I can improve. Most of it involves cleaning up my work and refining it.

    You know, I really think I might have a chance at publishing one day, from the feedback I am getting. I know there are some folks who would review me more harshly, but I think with work I could even meet that storm. It's just a matter of close refining and technique.

    I know one thing- writing and the creativity/imagination behind it are all God's greatest gifts of talent I have. Also, I often feel the Spirit inspiring me as I write- not even just in stories that have clear Christian meaning. Sometimes it is just a fun story- but that same story ended up connecting me to someone I was able to minister to in a life changing way. That, alone, is reason for that extra help from the Lord.

    So, then, God- whatever mission work I end up doing, I know that writing will always be a key component in my life.

    -Patrick

October 16, 2006

  • The Renewing of a Classic

    Kanon- an anime remake

    [images taken from Novastorm's anime website; music from Evangelion opening]

    kanon- hb2zw0

    Every now and then a classic comes along that captures the heart and mind. This truly is already the most wonderful time of the year! Why? Because this is one out of two times a year when a torrent of new anime series are released all at the same time. However, of all these new potential classics, one stands out because it is both new and already a classic.

    Kanon is the hands down best anime ever made that has not yet been released in the United States, in my humble opinion. I also feel it is also one of the best anime ever made, competing up there on my list with the legendary classic Evangelion (and of the two, this one has a far better ending). The original is excellent, but was made in the early 1990's and also involved a lot of common 'cheating' techniques used to make detailed Japanese cartoons less time consuming and more cost effective. Basically, in exchange for high detail (as opposed to American cartoons, which are more simple) they toss out more frames and 'cheat' by using a lot of still shots to replace motion.

    The new Kanon, two episodes out already, contains none of that so far. It is rich in incredible, seemless quality- mouths that match the words (Japanese words, that is), and flowing backgrounds. The quality is wonderful and the story just as classic, though so far they seem to be making some 'surprises' more obvious.

    kanon 06- e2fl0

    If you are interested in an unforgettable experience and do not mind reading subtitles, I highly recommend you use bittorrent (google "bittorrent") and go to animesuki to download either the original Kanon or the new Kanon 2006 as it comes out! You have to invest in a few episodes to get into it, but you will not regret it. Just be prepared to laugh a lot, cry a lot, and think a great deal as well. Below is a clip for a preview of the upcoming new Kanon 2006.


October 10, 2006

  • Baby Thoughts- a collage

    I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

    [EDIT- Audio has been added to this page, now you can hear the song right from the page]

    It clicked earlier. I picked Conor up from his nap and was holding him,
    but he didn't seem to get lively right away. He just lay against me,
    cuddling. I thought I would see if I could get some quiet time out of
    him still, so I lay down on our bed. Wiggling my foot and stroking his
    back actually got him to quiet down again, and I ended up drifting off
    with him.

    I woke up, and as I held him there against me he kept sleeping. I was
    wide awake, but he seemed ready to just lay there longer. He was a
    little sweaty with cool cheeks and a warm, damp head of silky soft hair
    which I gently stroked. Then a song came back to my memory ("I don't
    want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith from Armageddon in 1998. I had
    heard, falsely, that he had written it to his daughter- but believed it
    for a while, and now I think maybe he at least sang it to his daughter
    as one can kind of see from the music video.) and as the lyrics went
    through my head it clicked- clicked like never before, and tears came
    to my eyes. The feeling of deep, intimate, special family love that I
    had for my Wife- that same feeling I knew I held in my heart for a
    daughter one day- it clicked with Conor as tears came to my eyes. For
    the first time I heard the lyrics not from a romantic perspective but
    from the perspective I'd imagined they were sang from- thinking of the
    singer singing to his little (and then later grown) girl.

    [EDIT- I've figured out how to utilize xanga to add the song. Click the play arrow on the song box below to play the music, then scroll along with the lyrics. If you cannot use this feature, then I encourage you to set up the video from the link below and listen to the song as you go.
    If I had the software and knowledge of how to put it together into one,
    I would SO make a 'music video' slide show to this music]

    (video clip)
    -------------------------------------------------

    Conors Birth 11-2005 027

    I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
    Conor Sleeping 04 Watch you smile while you are sleeping
    Conor Sleeping 03

    While you're far away and dreaming
    Conor 11-15-05 002

    I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
    I could stay lost in this moment forever
    Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

    I don't wanna close my eyes

    I don't wanna fall asleep
    Cause I'd miss you, baby
    conor eating- chewing broc And I don't wanna miss a thing Conor eating- stuffed
    Cause even when I dream of you
    The sweetest dream will never do

    Dream Conor 01- big smile

    I'd still miss you, baby


    Conor smile 02- sink splashing

    And I don't wanna miss a thing

    Conor Smile 01- bathtub cutey



    Lying close to you feeling your heart beating impressionistic- conor sleeping on Patrick

    And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

    PICT7512

    Wondering if it's me you're seeing

    Patrick- in background with Conor

    Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together

    PICT7050

    And I just wanna stay with you

    conor smile 04- piece 1


    In this moment

    forever, Conor smile 04- piece 2 forever Conor smile 04- piece 2 and ever Conor smile 04- piece 2

    I don't wanna close my eyes
    I don't wanna fall asleep

    PICT7513 Cause I'd miss you, baby
    And I don't wanna miss a thing

    impressionistic- pieces of Conor cute

    Cause even when I dream of you

    The sweetest dream will never do
    I'd still miss you, baby
    And I don't wanna miss a thing

    Conor smile 04- piece 2 I don't wanna miss one smile Conor smile 03- closeup smile

    Conor Smile 05- mischevious grin I don't wanna miss one kiss Conor and friends 10-9-06 010

    Well, I just wanna be with you Baby Play 7-06 043

    Conor Smile 01- bathtub cutey Right here with you, Conor says Dada

    Conor Clips 9-06 002

    just like this

    PICT7444 I just wanna hold you close

    Feel your heart so close to mine Conor Sleeping 02

    And stay here in this moment
    For all the rest of time

    Conor 11-15-05 007


    Don't wanna close my eyes
    Don't wanna fall asleep
    Cause I'd miss you, baby
    And I don't wanna miss a thing

    Moving to New House 7-22-06 001

    Cause even when I dream of you

    March 154

    The sweetest dream will never do

    Conor sleeping 01

    Cause I'd still miss you, baby
    And I don't wanna miss a thing

    Conor Play 8-06 020



    I don't wanna close my eyes
    I don't wanna fall asleepConor and friends 10-9-06 067
    Conor and friends 10-9-06 050 Cause I'd miss you, baby
    And I don't wanna miss a thing Conor and friends 10-9-06 047
    Cause even when I dream of you Conor and friends 10-9-06 021
    The sweetest dream will never do

    conor smile 06- super Conor

    I'd still miss you, baby

    Conor and friends 10-9-06 007

    And I don't wanna miss a thing


    Blueberries and Play 7-14-06 004



    Don't wanna close my eyes
    Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
    I don't wanna miss a thing


    Conor and friends 10-9-06 035

    Conor- Born November 11, 2005

    Turns One Year Old in One Month

October 8, 2006

  • Conor's Firsts

    Conor's First Step

    Three days ago, Conor was able to stand for a few seconds on his own for the first time! (the first time on a stable, flat surface at least) Yesterday and then again today he topped that with his next feat of feet! On Saturday October 7 of 2006, Conor took his very first step! It was on his own with no help. He was able to stand without falling for a short time and step forwards before loosing his balance. So, at ten months of age, Conor has begun the path to walking!

    Conor's biggest hurdle has been his lack of balance, and the last few days he has really been working on that. Body strength was not the issue, but balance experience. He has been practicing constantly and is really getting a lot better at it. For Conor, nothing short of walking is enough! Once he could 'army crawl' he was already trying to crawl on his hands and knees (though in the end that was to get to standing up, really). Once he made to hands and knees, rather than madly exploring around the house he immediately focused every hands and knees attempt towards standing. Instead of embracing his new freedom with crawling, he has focused intensely on walking. He will not be satisfied by anything less!

    What's next?

    Well, I think once he gets to walking it will be running next. Then, he'll probably want to drive before the age of two. I wonder how he'll reach those petals?

  • Morning Grape Juice

    Juicey Thoughts

    I have perfected a nice, cold glass of juice for breakfast with my very first attempt. My beloved Mom bought us a big variety pack of white and red seedless grapes, as well as the darker red non-seedless eating grapes. I have been eying those grapes ever since Katrina got her birthday gift of a juicer. I have always loved grape juice, and lusted after fresh grape juice. Of course, with the fine but none-the-less pulpy content a shredding juicer gives versus a press it is not quite premium but it is still close enough. So today I went for it.

    I made carrot juice for my Wife, who loves almost anything carrot including its juice. She has made some scary concoctions which would actually taste good if she had gone heavier on the fruit juice and lighter on the carrot part. However, to me, 80% carrot juice and 20% fruit juice is just not my cup of tea. I'd prefer it the other way around.

    My Fabulous Glass

    So as we speak, I have a perfect combination in my hand. I mixed fresh seedless red grape juice with a small addition of carrot juice to taste. I realised it was still too strong so I also added water to taste. I ended up adding more than I thought I would without it becoming 'watery' and bland. Then some ice, and presto! The perfect cup of morning fruit juice.

    Allow me to tell you this- fresh carrot juice is a lot sweeter than anything you will find from a store. So it goes amazingly well with fruit juice. There is a hint of a bitter aftertaste, to me, so I go light on the carrot and heavier on the fruit. Be very wary if you ever try to make a fruit juice mix with carrot juice that is not freshly made (ie- purchased) since the taste might not be what you expect or desire.

October 7, 2006

  • Apple Sauce

    Cooking Corner

    For those out there with a little culinary interest, I thought I'd share a few brief thoughts today. I have been experimenting by just adding different spices each day to Conor's food to add variety and let him try new flavours. For his apple sauce, I tried cinnamon (an obvious choice), then I tried nutmeg, and my Chinese five spice which I brought back from Taiwan. I must say, the five spice powder was DEEELICIOUS in apple sauce. It is a great addition to chicken- adding an exotic sweet hint to it, but it fits right in with apple sauce.

    However, I learned something. Nutmeg, when added to apple sauce, really gives that fruity flavour you get when you taste store-bought lemonaid. It's pretty neat, that citrus spice- it really perks of the applesauce. I encourage you for fun to try adding some ground nutmeg to cold applesauce sometime and see what you think (I, of course, am using the simple store-bought ground kind of sauce). This morning I tried mixing cinnamon and nutmeg and it was a very nice combination.

    To get the feel for what nutmeg tastes like, add a good portion the first time- but after that, make sure not to add too much or the citrus type perk will become bitter.

    Cook like a pro- easy style

    First, let me make a recomendation. For Alfredo sauce that tastes like it was made by a restaurant (and not like it comes from a jar, which it does) use Bertolli. My Mom got us a three pack from Sam's, and I'm hooked. Good alfredo sauce is really a challenge to make- and a time investment, too. You also have to deal with consistency problems, at least I do (the cheese gets lumpy, etc etc). It's incredible to have a jarred sauce that you just pop open and throw in- that tastes like something you'd get from a restaurant.

    So I took some stuffed, dried pasta Mom got us from Sams club, and used the jarred sauce, and created some pasta that is to DIE for. It's just... incredible. If you have some dried pasta you like, and get jarred sauce you like (like trying bertolli's) let me give you some tips!

    Make it like a 'pro'

    This is for alfredo sauce- you want to treat cream based sauce a LOT differently than tomato based. The two have very opposite flavours and need to be treated differently. Cream sauce you want to perk up and maybe spice up, tomato sauce you want to tone down, smooth out, and maybe complement a little. Remember, this is not to make your own sauce- but to transform a premade one into something that tastes gourmet and home made just to your taste.

    Make sure the pastsa you choose is not a long noodle pasta. You want either something stuffed (tort's, for example, or ravioli- plain pasta, of course, no sauce) or something that will hold the sauce. So, good examples are bow-tie pasta, curled pasta, etc. You really want something that will catch the sauce and the other addition in this work.

    Here's what I did, and some great compliments for a good alfredo sauce.

    1. Toasted pine nuts: cover the bottom of the large skillet (or use good pot) completely with olive oil. Preheat at medium to medium-low temps, then put fresh pine nuts in at a low temp (you can get them from most grocery stores, you just need to look a little sometimes- WARNING, if you are VERY alergic to pine trees or pollen, you might have issues with pine nuts. They are expensive, but you can't substitute for them- maybe sunflower seeds, but they are still inferior. Only use sunflower if you're allergic to pine). Let them sizzle gently and stir them regularly (no spattering or hissing, or it is too hot! You do NOT WANT TO BURN THEM or you ruin it! Better to go slower than too fast, they should gently brown over a period of several minutes). About a minute or so into it, add some chopped garlic (fresh garlic and go until the pine nuts are browned and starting to get a deeper, caramel-ish colour.Take out some of the nuts to add to each individual dish later.
    2. Add some pre-cooked meat (ie- pan seared chicken cut into pieces. I added medium-rare steak from the night before that was cool from the fridge and needed to be heated up. Steak is a NICE, rich contrast to the creamy sauce. Chicken works well too, but stands out less and is more traditional), maybe some canned artichoke hearts if you like them, and a really nice addition (worth the cost) is some sun-dried tomato (you can get them jarred in oil (best quality), or just dried). Chop it finely, and add maybe half of it at this stage. The rest you should add to each individual plate.
    3. Once you've done all this- you might need to remove the pot from the heat if it takes too long because you do NOT WANT TO BURN THE PINE NUTS. Add some white wine to keep the nuts and garlic from burning (again, burn the garlic or the nuts and you loose it all- no saving it, just start all over again. Pine nuts are epxensive, hint hint, so try to be careful. But do get them properly browned and the garlic lightly browned). Add enough white wine to cover the bottom of the pan in a light puddle of wine, enough so it won't boil away immediately but not so much that it will keep everything really wet after we cook it.
    4. Stir it all up well, and then add the SPICES! Woo! This is the fun part. I added some onion powder, some garlic powder, and some dried thyme to go with the steak (you can use onion salt or garlic salt, but I add the salt seperately to control the level of salt in the dish and let people add their own salt later). I also added cayenne pepper- I wanted this dish to be spicey. Not REALLY spicey, but spicey- and my cayenne pepper is the lower heat rating. Make sure everyone who will eat this is okay with spicey, otherwise you can add cayenne later inidivudally as a garnish (the red colour looks really nice). Add some freshly ground pepper if you have it, or just some normal pepper (not nearly as nice, and don't add as much).
    5. Stir it up and get it nice and toasty. Once the wine has cooked away a little but everything is still a bit wet and before anything is at the point of 'sticking' to the pan (you don't want it to cook that much!) then add the alfredo sauce! Stir it up and let it warm up nicely at medium temps. Stir it regularly- it should heat up over a minute or two, and if not, then warm it up just a tad faster.
    6. Put in the boiled pasta you plan to use, and toss it up nicely! You want to not add ALL the pasta- just add pasta and toss it until everything is coated and there is not a lot of excess, but each piece is still decently covered.

    Make the individual plates with pasta on them. Garnish by sprinkling lightly with dried parsley (or fresh, minced parsley if you like- either gives it a fresh flavour and a beautiful green look), gently sprinkle with chilli powder for a deep red (and/or cayenne- chilli gives it a light kick of spice to start with, cayenne doesn't kick you with it .. .but it leaves a slow, building spice as you eat). Add your saved pine nuts (just enough to make it look nice and taste good) and finely chopped sundried tomatoes.

    Finally, if you REALLY want to give this dish a fresh, living flavour and make it look professional, garnish not only with parsley but also some roasted red (or, for colour, yellow or orange) bell pepper.

    (I make my own roasted bell pepper. The easiest way is to set the oven rack near the broiler (the heating element at the top of the oven) but far enough away a bell pepper could sit on it without touching it. Pre-heat the oven on "broil" setting for at least five minutes or more. You HAVE to pre-prepare for this- leave the bell pepper(s) out on the counter for at least fourty five minutes to an hour ahead of time. The reason is, if they are cold inside they won't do this as quickly or properly. Once all is ready, using oven mitts and a spatula (tongs are great if you have them) put the bell pepper on the grating (you might put a pan below to catch the drippings). Set a timer for two minutes (it'll probably be four minutes at least the first go, but just in case- always watch your broiling closely!).

    Your goal is to get the topside WELL blackened- once the blackening spread over a lot of the skin (we're talking burned looking), turn it to the opposite side. Start with two minutes, but you might want to check every minute once the blackening starts until you get a feel for how fast it goes. Turn it to get all four 'sides' blackened- try to avoid too much unblackened skin.

    When you take it out, put it under cold water and after (or as it cools) use a fork to just brush off the outer skin. Cut the sides of the pepper off when you finish getting all the skin off (in slates, so you can cut strips of it) and then cut it into fine strips. Whala, roasted bell pepper that is delicious for using to garnish your pasta. Make sure to heat it a little in the microwave before you garnish!

    Extra tips

    - Some other things that go well with an alfredo like this include the famous, thin sliced Itallian hams (like proscutto (sp?)) cooked up along with the meat you throw in here (it doesn't need to be pre-cooked). Capers, roasted garlic, even crumbled/small pieces of bacon.

    Wine tip- NEVER cook with anything that calls itself 'cooking wine'. For anyone who can use Sam's club, I can get a $7 bottle of white wine (use white wine for alfredo sauces- red wine is best for tomato sauces) at Sam's that is large, but good tasting. NEVER cook with wine that someone who likes wine could not drink. Bad drinking wine = bad cooking wine. The people who make those gourmet dishes with wine sauces that you may have tasted make them taste that good because they use top quality wines in them. Also, getting large bottles of wine and using them over a period of time tends to lower the quality of their taste. If you're doing a particularly special dish, and want the best results, open a fresh bottle to cook with. It doesn't have to be expensive- just decent.

    PS- If you drink wine, then it doesn't hurt to use the leftover wine from a normal sized bottle to drink alongside the dish. I will recommend creativity and contrast. For example, I used a red zinfendel wine to cook my steak- but could have had it to drink with my Alfredo for good results. Likewise, my white wine would have worked as an interesting contrast to the rich steak. It breaks the "red wine with red meat or rich flavours, white wine with white meat or light, creamy flavours" rule but I've seen good chefs break it with good results.

    Hope you enjoyed reading and I hope I gave you some good ideas!

    (I don't think I have to say it, but since I DID create this from scratch, the above is copyrighted Patrick Flanagan 2006. :P All rights reserved, please get permission before displaying it publically or sharing copies of it beyond personal use)

October 5, 2006

  • Lonely Days

    I watched an episode of an anime today that was painfully remeniscent of some recent times. It is just a rather silly anime, but the context of this particular episode was of a female character having her birthday. She, being part of the royal family from her country, was used to everyone caring about her and making a big deal on her birthday. She was dissapointed when it appeared none of the girls (or the guy) in her house was going to do a party that evening. However, she caught onto a bit of a conspiracy- using high tech 'tin can' listening devices she overheard talk of a cake, and keeping it secret until they took it out in the evening. She realised that everyone was, in point of fact, really taking pains to surprise her- even the michevious little one who was normally rather mean to her was getting her a cake. She waited in her room until evening, when the surprise would happen. There was a knock on the door- and there, fluttering, was a lone little bird (their pet bird, which talks apparently) with a birthday party hat on... nobody else. She hugged the bird, and then said "Well, we could always use chicken nuggets after the cake!" to which the bird quickly avoided her hug (little silly spot).

    She went down, happily, and opened the door- to see everyone eating cake. Apparently the little girl who didn't like her got ahold of cake, but there wasn't enough for all of them- so, since she worked hard for it, she thought it would be kindest just to not tell her about it. She didn't really like her much either. The only one who knew about her birthday was the little bird. She cried, and isntead of getting angry like they expected, told them they were cruel and ran off.

    Then the bird explained, sadly, why she was upset. The Mom of the house was the only other one who knew- and apparently had a back up cake ready.

    Memories

    It's a little silly sounding, but sadly- it really made me remember a lot of recent birthdays and special times. In my household, special days like birthdays were always a really big deal. We each were made to feel special, and Mom always went out of her way to give us things we wanted, give us big parties, and Colleen and I always felt so loved on our birthdays.

    Then in college, where I felt I'd built up friendships- I had expected a surprise birthday, just like in that cartoon, only for the evening to come... and suddenly, I realised, nobody was doing anything. Even though they knew about it, my closest friends were off doing other things.

    It was a realisation that even though to me they were my dearest friends, they were my only close friends whilest they had other friends they considered closer and had known longer. I didn't, save for my fiancee and family (at this time, Kat was of course at college and couldn't be there for my birthday).

    partyblowersmain

    Now

    Now, I don't really have many around me save my family- as a people person and an extrovert, it's rather lonely. I think God's put on my heart the best way to make up for this is to make sure those I do know don't feel the same way on their special days. If I focus on giving the attention and love I know others need (God's commandment to love others as we love ourselves), even if it isn't returned God will use those times to strengthen me and give me the fulfillment I feel lacking at present.

    I think the most important thing as a follower of Jesus in times of loneliness is allowing that feeling to be given to God, and turned into motivation to love others- to fill our emtpiness by filling other's in His name.

    -Patrick

October 2, 2006

  • Necessity of Fear

    Fear helps Growth?

    Until a month ago, we could have lots of fun with Conor. We could dangle him upside down, and at the same time toss him and catch him by his feet whilest over a bed. He loved it and would giggle away. Suddenly this stopped. Even being gently tipped back began to bother him. He appeared to be doing little baby situps if I tipped him back, trying to keep from going down. He was particularly distressed at being upside down. We had hoped by getting him used to this he would not mind being upside down as much, yet this seemed to have changed.

    I realised, then, that the reason for this was his balance. Before he had not cared what position he was in; however, the result was that he could fall over easily. He had learned through time that falling was not only painful, but if he fell he would be unable to sit up or do what he desired to do. He had gained a dislike or even fear (from several falls) of tipping over and immediately sought to correct it.

    Is this dislike or fear negative? No, it is even necessary. He will never be able to walk if he does not learn to gain and keep his balance constantly. He needs this balance to do all the things he is learning to do now.

    Conquering Fear

    What if, one day, he desires to do gymnastics? Then he will have to learn to get over this once healthy fear and set it aside in order to learn new skills. Once mastered, these skills will allow him to loose his balance in a different and purposeful way. Perhaps he will hurt himself at first, but eventually he will learn not to. Loosing his balance now is not productive, but eventually he will have to allow it to move forwards.

    Can we perhaps look at our lives and see how in many ways we must procede in the same fashion?