Near the End

I can hardly believe it. I am almost overwhelmed with excitement! I am on the last chapter of tonight, and it seems incredibly smooth going! Not only that, but the doctrinal statement- which formerly seemed rather daunted to organize- is slipping easily into place.

God's Empowering

There is no doubt in my mind that God has responded with the empowering of His Spirit in me this evening. Also, perhaps to a smaller extent, perhaps my mind is beginning to get into the mode of getting this kind of work and thinking done- it has been a while since I have functioned like this, after all.

One thing is clear- not only has God answered my prayers, but clearly my fellow friends and believers have prayed (and maybe even fasted) for me! Tonight I can believe nothing else- it is completely different from last night. Last night I did it, but it was muddled at the end. Tonight, I am near the 'end' of tonight but still fully cognizant, aware, focused, and full of energy! Thank you to every single fellow believer in Christ who has prayed or fasted for me, is praying for me, and will be doing so! They are having an effect! One that is nothing short of miraculous. I mean it- for one whose mind is normally so fuzzy and muddled, suddenly my senses are heightened, my mind clearer, my energy higher, and... despite all this... I am not being flooded with seizures, as often might happen when I get less sleep and I have to use my mind more.

Go beyond the limit?

I have not decided for sure yet- I do not want to over push myself- but I just might try going even beyond my daily 'quota'. Already tomorrow I will only have five chapters to do instead of six. But wouldn't it be nice to have even less? Or... maybe, just maybe... do as I did the Thursday night before my wedding weekend in Theology 1, and finish it all in one last go this very night (or, technically, morning!). Oh... God, the blessing and release that would be! I've already reached the "seven page minimum" for my doctrinal statement- I think I'm actually at nine pages now. Can I finish it all up tonight? I'll rely on the Spirit to guide me- if He gives me strength, I will use it. No more long breaks either, just short ones like this.

I know this- this is all God's doing, and to Him be the glory. I also have to praise Him more- because the reason the doctrinal statement is easier is that I am absorbing so much of what I am doing, so easily. That, and by God's grace I took REALLY good notes (that's what taking the same class three times- two of which I typed notes on the same pocketPC- will do for you)... so combining that with my reading makes it fall easily into place, and the scripture references are all typed out for me. I just choose one of a slew of verses next to the chosen topic (score for the fast typer! He throws out verses verbally- too fast for most people to write down, and actually it seems he probably doesn't want them to... and I got them ALL. If I missed any last Summer, I got them THIS Summer!).

Application

God is also doing what the whole point of this class is- He is answering my prayer and using this time to bring together the concepts I am learning and help solidify them, make sure I understand them, and develop them in my mind. I never learn better than I do when I spend a long, concentrated time focused completely on that one topic. Right now this is my peak. I'm excited, I'm into it- I don't want to stop, I can just keep going full throttle. If there was another person here, I would be excitedly talking over some of the topics I am going through. This is what school is all about!

To Be Continued

I doubt anyone is up to read this as I go- but, we shall see what happens. I'll chronicle my next steps soon enough! Until then.

Sincerely,
Patrick

Starting Stage

It is the beginning of my Thursday night work binge! Please pray for me as I begin, if you read this  between now and my finish! This is the "crux" of it- the middle ground, the hardest part since I am reaching the really bulky part but not "at the end" yet! I have a third of my work done, but I'm not halfway yet. Tonight is the test. I have one rule- I WILL NOT go to sleep or even take a nap until I am finished.

I'll give some comments and thoughts as I go, perhaps to pace the time.

-Patrick

Wendesday

I have set up my schedule, divided things up, and begun! My first impulse is to doubt many dropping by really care about the details- but in truth, really, you folks on here are the only ones who I really share this with besides my parents and Wife, so, I might as well share it. Most people on here just aren't very vocal- perhaps the anonymity you have when you read makes it easier to be silent? Hmmm. Either way, here is my plan. Don't mind me. Ramble ramble.

Anyway, the game plan.

Strategic Offense

I have 17 chapters to go, so I have divided it to 6 chapters a day- leaving only five chapters on Friday. That means that I will work Wednesday (today... well, it was today, but you get the point. I count "early morning" before bed as Wed in this case), Thursday, and Friday. All this work is due August 18- I've set my own deadline for, obviously this coming Monday so it is ALL done by the time vacation starts. However, my own personal goal and strongest desire is having EVERYTHING but the personal letter done before I go to sleep on Friday.

So six chapters worth of study questions, and also filling out my beliefs on each topic covered (harder than the study questions, as I am finding out- since it is a sticky thing sometimes).

Wednesday: 6 chapters, doctrinal statement
Thursday: 6 chapters, doct. stmnt
Friday: 5 chapters, doct. stmnt
FINISH

Anytime after that I can do my 2-3 page personal letter about a topic covered relevant to my life or ministry. My personal goal would be Saturday- Sunday at latest, but I CAN also do that easily over vacation. It wouldn't be a big stress- a break time, even.

Accountability Today

Wednesday: ALL tasks completed!

Yes, that is it- you heard me correctly! As I write this, I have finished everything for tonight. That is ONE THIRD of the work I have to do. I'm not sure if the doctrinal statement is pristine- my head is kind of muddled and I may need to go back through it. But the important thing is it is done- just doing it with basic sound thinking alone is enough for a C or above, and I've done that much at least. My hope is to make sure, hopefully, I can clean it up and keep it A level. But at this point- just finishing is enough to make me sing a song! Perfection can wait until after I get it all done.

One third. One third... one THIRD! Of course, the really heavy topics are also coming up- probably some long chapters too. Sin and salvation... whew. And end times! Aaaah! I got the easy ones this time around. Tomorrow I want to try to start during the day- I've broken the ice today, time to get moving tomorrow. With God's grace, I will maybe even try to get beyond 6 chapters- BUT, all I have to get done is 6. Heck, even 6 is a huge accomplishment. I just did about two weeks worth of work, from a normal semester's standpoint. Time to kick it in gear and do the other third.

A Binge Worker

I work in clumps. I learned in my FDS reading that such can be an aspect of an attention control issue I have- some people just work well this way. One day, they just know they won't get much done and so relax all day- the next, they go 14 hours straight. Well, I'm on a roll now. Tomorrow I'm going to pump it out. If I had someone to care for Conor I'd probably go even faster, but, at least I have Kat's support in the evenings. I will catch up on sleep in the day, then get rolling.

-Patrick

It is a little sad that it took so long to get to this point, however- I can now happily say that I am finished with all but my final three credit hour course! As of last night, I have turned in all my work for my Faculty Directed Study (a one credit course)- and I now have only my three credit Theology 2 between me and my graduation from college this August. As for Theology 2- all that I have left to finish in that class is my doctrnial statement, discussion questions at the end of every chapter from the half of the Theology teskbook in our course that covers Sin and Salvation, and a one page personal letter regarding some theological concept covered. I say "all" because- it is a lot of content work, but I CAN do it! And it is pretty much step-by-step. I can hit two birds with one stone on the bulk of the work. Since the doctrinal statement is basically "I believe *insert position/belief* about *insert topic* because *insert reasoning* based on *insert at least two Bible verses*." That is the general format- it ends up being a minimum of four pages (usually more for me). And since it is covering ever topic we go over in the semester- and answering the reading questions will go over every topic- yes, that's it. I just make up the doctrinal statement while I answer my discussion questions.

It will take longer- but when I'm done, I'm DONE. The personal letter will then be really easy- I just take something that I felt interested in sharing with someone while I did my previous work, and then write them about it.

Pray for Me

Please, pray that I would have a special gift of focus, endurance, energy, and determination whilst I finish this final class. The class time is done, the exams done, everything but this last bit of work- and then my entire college education is DONE. And this, and the FDS, have hovered like this for two entire years. The end is in sight- pray that I will "run to win" as Paul said in one of his letters in the Bible. Let us run the race to the end, with the end in sight!

And the reward is a worthy one! Not only will I be done college, but next week we have a week long vacation with my family! Jay and his children will all be there- and my nephew, Michael, whom I have become very close with over the last year. We literally talk weekly (sometimes daily, depending on what is going on- especially recently), and I will really enjoy getting to spend time with him. I see Michael, and I see a picture of a relationship I may get to one day have with my own son- different, of course, since I will be a Father and a source of discipline and not just friendship/guidance.

The vacation will truly be a reward worthy of my highest effort! My work is not due until later in August, however- my own deadline is before vacation! Who wants to experience a vacation with that kind of work (and pressure!) over their head?

Pray that God will do His powerful work in me! This is such a BIG deal in my life, if you feel lead to- please pray for me, maybe even fast on my behalf (it would encourage me if you share that you are doing so- I feel the encouragement really helps me to discipline myself and move forwards). I cannot fast for myself, because of health reasons- and I know the past times that I have fasted in times like this God HAS acted. I would be honoured if someone would feel lead to do so on my behalf.

The enemy loves to taunt us with things we know we can do, but by our own fault fail to do- the easier, the more painful it is. I covet your prayers.

-Patrick

We have moved out! It is done, finished, finally ooover!

No more moving left to do! Katrina did a great majority of the work over the last few days- getting the knick-nacks, shelves, and other daily items moved over. Wow, we have a lot of clutter to go through! I wonder if we might not just put some of the less essential (or more storage item things) back into a box!! After all, there are some things that are just worth saving for personal value. Other things we will eventually use (like, say, a deep-fryer) but we do not have the money to just say "well, we have not used it in a while so let's toss it" then buy one again later. We have to balance- we should not hoard, but we should not waste either.

I got four hours of sleep last night due to moving. As of this morning, our apartment is vacated. We are done.

Part of me is a little nervous still. We're done, we're out- but if Pat tries to say "well, you aren't getting your deposite back- so, that means if there is anything that isn't done and I need to pay for it, you get the bill"... well, at this point, we'll go to mediation. As believers we will NOT bring another believer (especially one in our own church) to court in any way. So, we'll have our Church mediate. Heck, the Church has offered to help- we might even see if they will come over and fix the problem. They have been SUCH a blessing- they have not done a thing, but the fact they were willing to send a team of people over Monday morning to move stuff for us was in and of itself a wonderful thing.

Now, comes my part- getting some heavy work done! First, though, I need to refresh my body with necessary sleep.

-Patrick

Giggling Conor at Play

Take yet another look here in order to see a glimpse of the latest short I added taken only a few hours ago. It is just a good glimpse of Conor in a very delightful mood. We did not catch the height of his giggling and flirtatious cuteness, however we got a very good sample of it. I wish we could give you longer videos, but for now, these will have to do.

Peaches

On a side note, it seems the clip I put up of our... unique male peach... is incredibly popular, especially if I compare the number of views it has had, compared to our little one Conor. I'm not surprised- anytime you mix sexuality, fruits, and something rather unique you end up attracting all sorts. I am glad, at least, we were able to share our very unique peach with the world- at this point, the peach is currently frozen. I wonder if it gets popular enough, we should sell it? Hee hee.

-Patrick

DB armor          1 life taken

Iron bow           50 septims

200 Iron arrows 100 septims

Being able to shoot someone in the face and have them run straight up to you without noticing you....   priceless.

For anything money can't buy, steal it.

The Thieves Guild: we're everywhere you want to be.

----------

Come to the dark side.

We have chocolate cake.

----------

There is nothing more enjoyable than a game that lets you wander around and basically do what you want. Well, within the reality of the game at least. You can follow the main plot and try to save the kingdom- help the emporer regain the throne-etc. Or, you can ignore the main plot, and just pursue whatever you want. Join the fighters guild, work your way up- maybe even eventually, after a lot of work, become the guildmaster. Fight in the arena, beat enough fighters, and become the champion yourself. Or maybe your a bit sneaky- join the thieves guild, and play the game in a creative way. You try to do jobs where you sneak around WITHOUT killing anyone or getting caught- you actually get fined for every person you hurt.

Of course, for those more morbid and probably less noble in their hearts, there is of course the option to become a part of the assasins guild. I looked into it and I must say- that is one aspect of the game I never plan to delve into again. Not as bad as many games out there can be, but the idea of having a 'comrad' joke about how he killed a six year old girl on her birthday- I guess it is supposed to make you feel better when, in a later quest, you have to kill all your comrads. It really makes an interesting statement- when you give yourself over to evil, in the end, even your 'friends' and 'family' in your dark life could do the same back to you that you have done. There is no rule for rulebreakers, no hope for those who steal it away from others.

I for one wish the game let me go into the assasin's stronghold and wipe the suckers out.

I'm not playing the game right now- I have work to get done. But I did up until a week or so ago- and I must say, to this point there is no game out there so ambitious and beautiful in its scope. You can do everything. Ride a horse clear across the entire province- through snowstorms, lightning, and beautiful sunsets. Climb to the very top of a mountain and look out over the valleys below- on a clear day, you can see it all. Swim into the ocean and explore shipwrecks! Sneak quickly through the forest and take down deer with your arrows, then barrel through and knock down vicious bears and minotaurs. Earn rank and buy a house to settle down in. Heck, about the only thing they don't let you do is get married and have kids.

And if you want to do that, there's a game that lets you do that too- I think it is called Legacy or something (you play a 'family line', starting out as one character and going down through the generations).

Of course, it is always important to remember- we enjoy games like this because we approach it as a game. Maybe we'd enjoy real life more if we approached it with a better outlook too?

-Patrick

Attention Deficits- We need more understanding

Excepts taken from A Mind at a Time, by Mel
Levine, M.D.

**“We know he can do the work when he wants
to. In fact, when he can overcome his laziness and his attitude problems, he
will succeed. Until then, it’s up to him. We can’t help him unless and until he
helps himself.” This was a terse report from the algebra teacher of a patient
of mine. It is so typical of the kind of misunderstanding that causes children
with attention deficits to shoulder all the guilt and blame for the way they
are. When I explained to this boy that he was not to blame for the problems he
was having, that he was an innocent victim of his wiring, he became radiant.
There was hope. I gave him some articles to read about the attention controls,
and he came back to see me with a lengthy list of questions. He was determined
to get in control of himself. And by the way, his mom at a PTA meeting urged
the school to get some training in neurodevelopmental function for the
teachers. A lack of attention control may masquerade as laziness, a negative
attitude, or just plain bad behaviour. Yet these are struggling and confused
students who want very much to succeed, to please themselves, and win the
respect of the adults in their lives. They need our sympathy and support at the
same time that they need us to hold them accountable for working on their
attention controls. When they sense that we’re on their side and not accusing
them of being bad or lazy, they often rise to the occasion and show steady
improvement. Teachers, therefore, need to form strong alliances with these
children rather than adversarial relationships. The same can be said for
parents. **

(pg. 89)

** Children at not all alike. Those with
attention control problems are a heterogeneous group. Some are overactive and
some are not. Some have behaviour problems; others just have trouble
concentrating or getting work completed. Some of them can’t seem to sleep well,
while others have no sleep difficulty. So let’s avoid the current practice of
lumping kids with attention control problems as “if you’ve seen one, you’ve
seen them all.” Actually, any combination of weak attention controls can be
found in a kid; I’ve encountered endless variations on these themes. So parents
and teachers need to think about each of these children and identify the
specific controls that seem out of control as well as those that function well.
Also, a child’s attention controls may function nicely in some settings but not
in others. **

(pg. 87)

As a person who grew up with attention control
problems- and was never diagnosed with them, even when I went to a
‘professional’ to be diagnosed, I think these are valuable words for us all to
know. I was never diagnosed because the way my issue made itself known was not
generic- it was unique, it did not fit in a clump or a box. I was not
hyperactive- I did not run around with tons of energy. Yet still, I suffered
from attention control issues just as seriously as anyone else with attention
problems. The person diagnosing me spoke to a previous principal and decided I
had a “defiant” disorder. When I was in first grade, a counsellor was
supporting me in changing my behaviour problems (much in the way that the
author of this book recommends) and my first grade teacher grabbed me by my arm
and dangled me off the floor. She grunted at me, “You’re an evil little boy,
and if Mr. Seal [the counsellor] knew how you really were he’d think so too!”

If you know any teachers out there, please
encourage them to read this book- so other little boys like me don’t have to
grow up without knowing why they are the way they are. Parents will benefit
from this very book as well. It helps us to understand the way we as people
think, and how each area of our brains are broken down- so when things go
wrong, we understand exactly what the problem is. ADD is a “lumping” phrase-
but attention controls are SO much more intricate than that.

I hope as we raise our child and these
inevitable issues come up- since both Katrina and I have attention control
issues- we can be sensitive to his needs and identify them as they arise.

-Patrick

First Words

Our little boy of 8.5 months has
officially said his first words today! Apparently he has made the sounds
before, but Katrina did not feel they were purposeful enough to count as a word.
I am still not sure exactly how specific they were, but I know that many
parents count less as a first word. I am also sorry to say that I lost the contest-
not that there was much of one to begin with. He did not say “Dada” or anything
of the sort. His first words were “Muhmuh”- or, “Mama”. And it was not just one
time- it was a repeated effort. “Mmm… mmmmuh…. Mmmuh! Mmuuuh-muh! Mmmu-muh!”

Sadly it was not
said in so much of a joyous or curious pursuit as it was in the middle of
crying. It was not an intense cry or fit really, just the usual cry he goes
through when he realises it is time to entertain himself and I will not do it
for him. Kat tends to occupy his time a lot more, and has more often of late,
and it makes sense logically that when he is frustrated at this he would want
Kat to come and put an end to this atrocity called “self entertainment”.
Amusingly enough, as soon as I called up Kat and he could watch me talk, he
calmed down- and of course enjoyed hearing Muhmuh over the phone… whilest
trying to devour the phone itself. Once that was over, he quietly entertained
himself just fine with a few slight protests that eventually gave way to his
insatiable curiosity as to why his plastic keys make such curious sounds when
jingled and would they not make even more interesting sounds if he shook them
hard enough?

First Videos

Finally I have
figured it out- and in addition to the pictures I show on here, I have been
able to put the fifteen second video clips our camera takes onto YouTube. So
now, you can get a glimpse of the daily Conor as well! Take a look at Conor's video clips and more over here. (word of warning- the description to one unrelated video regarding peaches is rather blunt, using anatomical terms. I apologise in advance- if anatomical terms applied to fruit would seriously offend you, you might want to think twice about reading said description. )

I have some of Conor's recent (this month) very cute videos up, just a few of those few we already have. I hope that this glimpse of him is enjoyable for all of you who have yet to see him, and those who even have already seen him! I can only take up to 15 second clips with the camera but I hope those fifteen second clips will be like extended snapshots into who our baby is and what our life is like right now.

Sincerely,

Patrick

Why all the fuss over some unseen baby? It is the mystery, I say. Well, I do not know about Tom's baby- but you do not have to guess over mine. Here he is, little Conor- and that is cute enough for me, I think!

This is stay-home Dad Patrick, signing off.

-Patrick