Mississippi Mornings

I found this
phrase “early to bed, early to rise…” coming to my lips a few times during last
week’s trip to Mississippi. Of the group I was perhaps the least physically
inclined, and yet at the end of the day I still had energy and motivation. The
only real sign of a long day spent was the fact that my feet felt like they
were ready to fall off. I met with Cliff (for those who don’t know, my mentor,
friend, and many years ago my high school math teacher) last night and one of
the questions he asked me, when I spoke of this, was regarding sleep. He
apparently has discovered this poorly kept “secret” himself. I always got eight
to nine hours of sleep each night while on this trip. The result was that I was
more alert and effective during the day, and while everyone else was ready to
drop I was still energetic. One could ask “What about the other activities you
could have done while you slept?” Well, think about the last day I was there.
Only three of us, myself included, went back to work until noon on Friday-
several others stayed because they were exhausted and the mere thought of doing
more was overwhelming to them. I, however, could have stayed even longer. I am
sure there could be other factors, but I personally think that taking care of
my body through sleep and regular breaks helped me to go longer. So in the end,
I got in three hours of work beyond what some of the other “late to bed, early
to rise” people did. It is a shame that I have to have a medical excuse (which
I do) to get the necessary sleep I need without being thought of as lazy or
self focused. As it is, my legitimate medical excuse is that the less sleep I
have, the more partial seizures effect me and the less effective my medication
is. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise?

It is hard to truly feel like you have a servant's heart when your act
of service is rewarded with heartfelt thanks, and even a song saying "I
believe in heaven, I believe in love, and I believe in you...". I
always wondered if I could truly be able to serve others- and while I
took a lot of pauses to break, I worked harder and more consistently
distributing food and packing it than I have ever done in my life. I
was shocked to hear that on the first day, Tuesday, it had gotten up to
over 100 degrees in temperature. Sure, it had been hot, but I was
focused, drank a lot of gatoraid, and took some breaks to cool off. It
never got old, it never got truly tiring- I saw my first faces that
morning, and all it took was that to feel privileged to do this.
Earlier today I shared some of what I had done with friends in a group
on Everquest 2- several times they said something like how good it was
of me to go, or how rewarding it must have been for me. Yet something
of that didn't settle right. Perhaps they thought that I was looking to
lift myself up, or perhaps they felt uncomfortable- who knows. Yet I
know this truth- I received more than I gave, as the Lord has promised
us all in giving to others. I also know that so much more is needed-
supplies, money, time, and most of all PEOPLE. Yet it is not a task
that is unable to be completed.

I returned this morning- very early. I left on the edge of Rita
herself, and I wished that I could have stayed to help be a part of the
healing process after yet another storm. There are many pictures to
share- and I will share them. There are many stories, and I will tell
them. All I ask is that you listen, that you pray and intercede
personally for the people I share about, for I made a promise to them
on your behalf. I said that I had friends and family online that cared
about them, wanted to know more, and wanted to be able to see their
pictures so that they could better pray for them and lift up their
specific needs. I said that I wanted people to know them better, so
that some might even be moved to go themselves and help them.

I know this- were it not for my first and most important ministry of my
family that involves my wife being near the end of her pregnancy, I
would go back to the hurricane area with Red Cross who has been calling
in all the volunteers they can. My Wife wants me to stay- and stay I
shall. In my life, there is God, my family, and then ministry. Please,
listen to what I share and join me in caring deeply about the needs of
people who live like us, in our own country, and are facing an
incredible challenge with a hope that Christians living out their walk
have given them.

Anytime I ever hear someone say "Well, most Christians just don't
practice what they preach." I will go, pull out my pictures from this
trip, and show them a slideshow. I will then look at them and say, "Do
you wish to repeat that for me?"

-Patrick

Mississippi

Gautier

I'm leaving tomorrow out of the parking lot at 4 AM EST. We shall be
taking a loooong road trip all the way to the above city and state for
a relief mission with Convoy of Hope. I doubt I will have internet
access during, but I am bringing my digital camera (and maybe my laptop
for added memory space) and I shall be taking a record of the various
things we will be doing there. I covet your prayers for me, as well as
the entire team. MOST importantly, pray for God to do a great work to
restore the people there and to allow us to partner with Him in this
work. This is an opportunity to show His love- with kindness and
humility- and perhaps even be able to witness the Holy Spirit bring
some people to a knowledge of Jesus Christ as their Lord.

I deeply appreciate your prayers that I will be up to this task- and
that God will be gentle with me as he teaches me how to have more of a
servants heart. There will be lots of discomforts- no air conditioning,
sleeping in tents on a sleeping bag, etc. However, the people of this
area had no choice in the matter of facing these discomforts
themselves. I seek to go and not endure- no, rather, to rejoice that I
am allowed to deal with some of these discomforts to bring help and
love to these people whom God loves and adores.

I shall probably not post again until I return, unless I find internet
access while there. Pray for my Wife, that she will be strong and happy
while I am gone, and that I will come back safely to her.

Sincerely,
Patrick

I read some very interesting thoughts and ideas regularly from the new
FlyLady help I am getting. I've gotten some great thougths I wanted to
share. This is something that I feel it took me a long time to learn-
and my own Mom had some trouble with, so it passed onto me at times.
(the following is from a mailing list, from FlyLady.net)

Don't volunteer to help someone, if you are only looking for the
appreciation of that help

Don't expect appreciation from someone you are helping if all you
have done is complained about what a pain it is to help them

Don't rob someone of the opportunity of being grateful by telling
them how grateful they should be

Don't volunteer to do something that you really don't want to do

Don't rob someone of the opportunity to solve their own problems
because you want to fix it for them

Don't grumble and complain about helping someone when you are the
one that offered to help in the first place

Don't rob someone of being able to accept the help that you have to
give because the emotional cost of accepting that help is too
expensive

I was telling someone recently that in all relationships the parties
involved have to be willing to grow and also willing to accept the
growth of others for those relationships to flourish.  Basically my
point was as human beings are always growing and changing to define
who we are.  To me that road to self definement never ends, the day
we stop growing and learning is the day we are no longer breathing.

To take that thought a step further is to allow yourself the ability
to accept the learning and growth experiences to happen.  Every
moment of every day is an opportunity to learn something about
yourself and about others as well.  The key is to make sure that you
are paying attention when that opportunity knocks.  The key to that
door is the willingness to see an experience as a tool for future
experiences.

An example of what I mean is something that happened to me this
week.  I had volunteered my services to someone and then complained
about what I had to do.  I myself am not a great morning person, I
have to work very hard at getting up early and functioning.  I
require about 30 minutes to come out of a sleepy fog.  I have always
been this way.  Knowing that about myself, I still volunteered to
give a ride to work every morning this week to someone whose car was
in the shop for repairs.  This person did not ask me for the ride, I
volunteered when I realized the situation they were in.  This meant
getting up almost two hours earlier than what I usually got up and
then driving to pick up and then drop off.  Round trip about 40
minutes.  So I got up grumbling, went to pick them up grumbling,
grumbled all the way there and then at night when it was time for me
to go to bed I grumbled some more about how early I "had" to get
up.  While the person that I was giving the ride to said Thank You,
I still grumbled. After a day or so the person no longer said thank
you, just rode along and got out of the car.  After day four I was
really starting to get irritated at how ungrateful I thought this
person was.  Is the word Martyr starting to come to mind yet?    I
felt perfectly justified that I was the one bending over backwards
and having to get out bed early just for them that they should be
far more appreciative than what they were showing.  It took having a
conversation with my husband for me to realize the following things. (from the list above)

I was able to realize these things because I was willing to learn
more about myself and my behavior. I allowed myself to listen to
another perspective and not hear what was said to me as criticism. 
If I was not willing to do so I would still be complaining and
whining.  Another path on my own road of self definement.  After
this conversation with my husband (who by the way is a wise man and
always gives me a different perspective) I knew that I had to
apologize to the person I was helping.  I felt very badly about the
way I had behaved, but I did not beat myself up over it.  To be able
to recognize when we are wrong and take the steps to correct those
wrongs is when we are growing.  You have heard FlyLady talk about
perfectionism and how it affects us all.  Perfectionism is what will
keep us from being able to grow. Perfectionism will keep us from
being able to see another perspective and see only criticism.
Perfectionism is what will keep us from be able to admit when we are
wrong.  Perfectionism will keep us from being able to apologize when
we need to, not just to the person that deserves the apology but for
ourselves as well.  Being a martyr is another form of
perfectionism.  When things don't go the way WE want them to, when
people don't say or do what WE want them to, when WE are unable to
see our own mistakes; WE are being a Martyr.  Perfectionism will
keep us in a state of stagnation.  Permanently rooted in our own
martyrdom. 

Another thing I learned about myself was how much I was able to get
accomplished  by getting up so much earlier than I was used to.  I
was able to get so much more done instead of chasing my tail trying
to figure out how to do it all, be it all and take care of
everything that I chose to take on.  I wasn't able to see the
rewards or the joy of a little bit more time in my day because I was
too caught up in complaining.  What I have been able to see through
all of this is that I stepped out of my comfort zone to help someone
else and learned so much about myself.  For that alone is worth
getting up two hours earlier than usual.

Look at each day as a way to learn something more about yourself,
Look at each day as a way to grow, Look at each day as a new way to
FLY!!

Love,
Kelly

PS - If you want to hear more on the male perspective that my
Husband has to offer - go to www.HeyTom.net  as I said he is a wise
guy in every sense!!  LOL!

From Patrick- I think this is a very, very profound thing! I felt that
expressing my own version of this would simply not suffice- so instead,
I wanted to share it directly. I hope it touches you in some important
way, just as it did me, because I believe everyone struggles with this
in some way at some time.

Iaria adjusted her
armour, dew dripping off the plate as she did so. It was early morning in
Antonica, and she had just finished the ferry ride out from the city of
Queynos. Her papers and identity were checked out before leaving, due to the
unusual hour to be abroad. Not that unusual, of course, considering the fact
that most of the local gnoll clans were kept in check by the many fighters from
Queynos that journeyed out against them. Thus it was not unusual for skilled
strategists to attempt to get the jump on the enemy by leaving in the dark of
night, or early morning in this case. She stood beside the lighthouse on the
small island and looked out into the distance. The light swept out over the
land. Over the rolling hills where gnoll camps lay, the relatively small forest
filled with various people and animals, the mountain riddled with gnolls and
ruins, the sweeping farmlands, and finally the large barrier of mountains that
lead to the Steppes.

Iaria had been to
Windstalker village many months ago, earlier in her training. She had heard of
the dreaded Windstalker Rumbler, and how upon taking the quickest road through
the mountain at the centre of that Antonican plains several people of the
village had disappeared.

The Rumbler was like a myth- a creature that lurked in
the depths and never truly died. Iaria, along with a group of many powerful
fighters and casters had found the Rumbler amid a den of gnolls in the mountain
and put it easily to death. Yet the deaths had not stopped. For some reason,
this was not over, and Iaria was determined to find out why now that she had regained
much of her power and prepared her body for battle through hard training.
Training that had almost cost her very life several times.

After travelling
along the central path through the Antonican plains, the sunset-haired High Elf
veered to her left towards the mountain. Standing eerily silent against the
backdrop of the night was Vhalen’s keep- a deserted keep haunted only by the
presence of ghosts and bats now. This was the place where the answer to her
challenge lay. She had issued a request for a fighter of the proper season and
experience who desired to risk his life in turn for the reputation her upcoming
quest might give. The response had been from an Iksar. She did not know if he
was of Queynos or Freeport- nor, in this case, did she care. As long as she did
not know, she did not have to bother with the conflict of interests. Indeed,
here at the path to Vhalen’s keep a shadow wriggled out from near a rock to
form into the lithe and muscled form of an Iksar bruiser. This was the warrior
who answered her call- to discover why the Rumbler was not truly dead after
all, and to put an end to its life with Iaria. She and this Iksar alone would
do what it normally took two groups of powerful and trained adventurers to
accomplish. They would defeat the Rumbler and put to rest any questions they
had.

“Thou’rt ready?”
Iaria asked with her lilting, archaic Common speech- unused now save by the
Frogloks and a few rare others. The alligator of an Iksar nodded, hefting his
weapon in encouragement, and they began the trek East to return the direction
Iaria had originally come. Not far, however, for soon they were at the cusp of
the cave into the mountain where the gnolls had found a home.

Down they went,
easily avoiding the gnolls- those that saw them cringed in fear after they were
sliced a few times, knowing these enemies in their lair were far beyond any of
them. The wall to the right opened up into a cavern with a tremendous roof.
Iaria had planned their timing carefully- she had used time and persuasive
skills to find out the best time to be sure the gnolls were quieted and the
Rumbler would be more passive. The cavern was dark- yet an ambient light shone
through it. Upon closer inspection, there were many glowing orbs floating
around near the pool below. Nodding quietly to the Iksar and gesturing with her
hand in silent speech, they climbed onto the slick rock wall and made their way
down the face and into the cavern.

As she neared the
pool on the far wall of the cavern, the glowing orbs transformed. Iaria halted,
her body tense. Cold sweat had broken out on her forehead. The glowing orbs were
eyes. The creatures they belonged to looked like grotesque beans with a sprout
coming from them- the bean was their tremendous bulbous head, and the sprout
was their wriggling wormlike body. Veins were visible all over the head and two
large, staring eyes like dead moons looked at Iaria- penetrating, cold,
mysterious in whatever thought it conveyed. Glowing streaks made their way down
their bodies- like golden veins of ore that glowed from darker rock.

Iaria raised her
weapon, advancing upon the nearest one that rested upon the ground feet from
her. It simply turned its head to regard her quietly. There was no visible
mouth on it- it simply stared at her. Defenceless, quiet, unnerving thing that
it was. She lowered her weapon somewhat. She did not know what these things
were, or why they were here. The gnolls let these creatures stay in the midst
of them- there was a reason for this. Either they needed them, or else they
were afraid to do anything about them. Why? She advanced forwards to near the
water, and before her were several of the orb-creatures outside on the edge of
the water. Within the water, some had their heads half-out whilst others were
underneath the water- eyes causing the water itself to glow from beneath. Only
a fool would desire to go swimming in there. She shook her head to the Iksar.
They would come back here, once they knew more. She knew this- she had not seen
this part of the cavern before and if she had, these creatures had not been
out. They held some piece of this puzzle.

Upon following the nearest cave a little deeper into the mountain, they
saw to their right a central den for the gnolls with a coral of sorts.
Inside this place, and also occasionally around them as they walked,
were what appeared to be miniature versions of what she remembered the
Rumbler to look like. What intrigued her and kept her attention were
the streaks of glowing gold underneath the hard plates forming upon the
worm-like surface of their main body. The rumbler had these as well.
That was it! That was the connection. The creatures in the pool were
the larva of the Rumbler. They were a very early, and seemingly
harmless stage that later lead to a transition which made them more
dangerous- and more like their adult goal. So the Rumbler had indeed
fallen by her hand- only to be replaced by one of these smaller ones
that later grew to its full size.

In the round cave area to their right were several more medium sized
creatures like this, most sleeping and passive. In the centre, however,
was the largest of them all- the Windstalker Rumbler itself. Perhaps
this was the queen, perhaps it was simply the largest one that had
killed off any others before they grew to its tremendous size.
Regardless, here it was.

They stepped further
into the cave, quietly as they could. Despite their silence, however, the
seemingly eyeless creature immediately- with silent, serpentine grace,
swivelled its head to “look” at them.

It suddenly darted forward- for all its
tremendous bulk it moved like lightning death. Immediately it was upon them,
and it took Iaria’s reflexes long enough to respond that by the time her
protective reactive armour and reactive healing spells were cast upon the Iksar
already the Rumbler had lunged down over the lizard and covered the Iksar. Dust
and rocks stirred up as the Rumbler’s giant fangs hit the ground, completely
covering the warrior from sight. The healings spells, however, caused a glow to
come from the body of the Rumbler and the small space between its mouth and the
ground. It’s body heaved as a part of it bulked out, causing the Rumbler to
draw swiftly back up and uncover the slimy Iksar with his large hammer in hand.
The Iksar glowed, protected by her quickly flung spell- his hammer having hit
the Rumbler from the inside. Iaria felt a great surge of power remaining at her
will- the fight had begun, and they had a chance at this Epic battle. If they
lived, stories would be told about this day- how two twentieth season adventurers
had defeated a beast that had killed more than their number before.

Immediately Iaria
focused her will and assaulted the still recoiling beast with a mind-shattering
lambent pulse that caused focal points of divine light to pierce out of the
gigantic creatures skin. The fight was on now. With powerful slams that would
shatter rock itself easily- for indeed the plates upon the Rumbler’s skin were
akin to rock- the Iksar pounded away at it with stunning leaps and moves. The
creature reared up with a screaming bass roar so that both the Iksar and Iaria
were looking up into the open, gleaming maw filled with fiery energy.

It seemed
to take hours of constant assault by the Iksar, and regular healing and divine
attacks by the High Elf of the sunset hair before the creature loomed over them
with the last surge of strength it had. It meant to leap upon them- but with a
strike of lightning from Tunare’s wrath itself, and a swing of the hammer it
tottered and fell back with a scream of pain. It fell to the earth, and once
upon the ground the Iksar landed the final crushing blow to seal its death for
certain.

Iaria and the Iksar now stood over the corpse of their mutually
defeated foe- the Windstalker Rumbler.

There still, however,
remained a few questions in Iaria’s mind. Was there any connection between the
gnolls and the rumblers living in the same cave? Did they simply tolerate each
other, living in a rough form of stability? Did the gnolls get something from
them, or even raise them? Was this perhaps some sort of “rumbler farm”, or was
it merely a circumstance of a magical creature’s nest that was invaded by
gnolls. One could simply overlook it as that and move on- however, Iaria has
learned throughout her long life that there was often more to situations than
what was at first apparent. Until she knew more, she would hesitate to kill the
larvae. Something about them… unsettled her. The gestured and began the process
of killing off the young rumblers before moving out to the nearest exit from
the mountain. She would be back here, someday soon.

My dear friends and readers,
As you may not know, Kat and I have swapped duties a little. I am
preparing to take over (and I am, already, a bit) management of the
house- keeping things clean, etc, a role Kat may not have always taken
but felt responsible for. Likewise, I passed over a little while ago
management of the finances to Kat to handle. She not only offered it,
she much desired and preferred it. Today, however, we received a notice
from the bank- and immediately came home to check our finances. They
are alright now, but they had gone below the $0 level at one point and
it had caused a little havoc.

Summary- Pray for our financial
providence, and providence of a secure job for Katrina that properly
meets our needs. (just a summary of what I will continue to go on about
for those who need it)

There is so much going on in the world right now- my trip Monday has
been postponed, as the church decided it better to go a week from this
coming Monday. So I shall still be going to the New Orleans area.
However, we have been reminded that Katrina- who is eventually going to
be our soul supporter, and even now my job is giving me very few hours-
is in a job where, even with over $300 a month given to us for rent
from my parents (as well as credit card help) without my part time
job's help we are just barely keeping our heads above water (and that
is not including saving anything). Kat needs a job, at some point, that
pays her what she is worth- one where we could support ourselves, even
tightly, WITHOUT our rent being paid. Thus, with our rent help from my
parents, we would be comfortable and able to save for the future as
well as support ourselves modestly. Kat's been giving away a lot of her
precious horses and gifts we've been given- no, not for money or
anything like that, but to help make space because we are in a
comfortable apartment but one without room for a lot of "stuff",
especially with a child coming. We're not going to be living in the
states long- this is temporary. So we're not saving up a lot of stuff,
we're not planning to ever buy a house, we're not even planning to try
to find a job that could last us years and years. We're just trusting
in God for the now.

I share all this because we are in a rather urgent situation- we're
both where God wants us right now. He wants me to be the full time
parent (one of us needs to be, and it is clear right now Kat is happy
and in a position to work outside the house, and I am happy and in a
position to work at home), and he wants us to prepare for ministry.
Please, if God puts it on your heart, pray regularly that God would
lead us clearly and for His special provision for our needs. Kat works
hard, and does work far beyond the position she is paid for (she
volunteered to do extra work- at the level of someone in a position
above her- and juggles that with her normal job, but her supervisor
does not recognize this in her reveiews. She is a top notch employee
and leads her collegues, but her work supervisor rates her on a level
equal to her peers or below at times... obviously benefitting from
Kat's work and not wanting her to leave). She is pursuing an
opportunity elsewhere at her workplace, but her supervisor will
probably try to find a way to keep her where she is- because of her
high performance, and relatively low pay for what she does. Please pray
God will send her the right job at the right time- be it at Blue Cross
or elsewhere. Kat admits she has trouble taking chances, and neither of
us are good at knowing how to look for jobs for her. We need a special
help and grace from God in this matter.

I know that with your prayers, every one of you who feels lead to pray
for us, this situation will resolve. God has told us, through my lovely
wife, that as we seek Him with all our hearts He will provide above and
beyond what we expect or need. So with this promise, we trust in Him-
knowing that God has not promised us a life of luxery or plenty in
material things, but trusting that He will help us each step of the
way. The most important thing is- we have been living with help from my
parents, and this can't keep going on. My parents are slowly going
further, and further, and further in debt and my Father is in his mid
60's now. I know if he ever could no longer work, everything would fall
apart for them. I pray that God will allow us to become independant of
them and begin providing other ways to support us.

In a time where we have so much, and others have lost so much... I feel
a little silly focusing on this. Yet while a few days ago I put it
aside, God- in his wisdom- has allowed recent events tonight to make it
unable to be ignored. I could stay here and spend time looking for a
better part time job, or getting more hours and cutting down some
ministry opportunities I have offered myself for. Yet I do not feel
that is what God wants- ministry is what my 'job' will be the rest of
my life, it is vital to what God is preparing me for. I'm doing VERY
little now, and I need to keep that up. Also, I will still be spending
a week in New Orleans- I'm not sure how much I will have to pay to do
that, or if I will receive any support at all. But I will still do it.
I believe that when times get tight- it is only more important to give
as much, or more, than before. In this case, I give my time and life.
Please, give up your prayers for us. After you pray for the thousands
of hurting, injured, lost, lonely souls from the hurricane's wake- and
pray for the lost of the world that need to find Jesus Christ.

With deepest sincerity,
Patrick

Iaria’s Journal

Entry 1

Lead to Distraction

Upon
finding an appropriate focal spell to reorient my corporeal balance, I am now
able to properly sit and continue my writing for today’s events. While working
upon crafting a Distraction spell today, I was ‘distracted’ during a crucial
shaping of the energy absorption phase of the written spell and the result was
yet another effect upon myself. Making clear to those I know that I am indeed
but a novice spell crafter is tedious work, yet ‘tis easy to fall into the
habit whereupon all manner of disasters will befall thee. I have had invisible
insects sting me, mine hands frozen in blocks of ice, and my body made unable
to move for hours by a miswritten Weakness spell. Yet if I appear to learn too
quickly or rise in ability too fast than I shall surely make someone aware of
an unusually intricate knowledge of how spells are written. Fortunately, my
‘younger heart’ is learning new things- thus it is easier for the rest of me to
move slowly.

I
have found great success in both reagent acquisition and combat
training in the
fields of the Thundering Steppes. Centaurs, who share the fields only
with the
mighty Griffons, have found a place dear to mine heart. I have sought
to honour
their ancestors and bring peace to their souls. ‘Tis not an easy job
due to the
amount of effort that must be spent in acquiring the materials that
each of
their ancestors will respect. Since, however, all of the necessary
ingredients
are found on the plains of the Thundering Steppes I am not finding it
overly
difficult. I have attempted to capture some of the beauty of the
Centaurs in more than word- first through watercolour, and again
through my use of my radiance spell to press the light reflected from
the Lady Centaur I spoke to upon the page.

What
beautiful sights hath set upon mine eyes whilst travelling the Steppes day and
night! I avoid the parts of the Steppes filled with undead. Whilst it is my
mission to dispatch such vile creations, for now I train best among the more
natural creatures of the Steppes and a part of my core shakes at having to
confront darker kin. The misty sunset colours that spread out in a haze over
the plains as the sun touches the horizon cause the roaming Centaurs and the
majestic soaring Griffons to appear like something out of a dream. While it is
said many creatures are displaced because of the disaster years ago, I find
they seem to have found quite natural a home here.

It
is odd how such powerful creatures as the Griffons and Centaurs take thine
attention from other noble and powerful beasts simply because they seem
slightly more mundane and rather smaller in comparison. Prides of lions roam
the plains as well- I seek after the lone male stalkers for prey, and capture
their teeth to eventually give to a Centaur ancestor to seek his blessing.
Occasionally I must dispatch of a female lion huntress as well. My primary prey
are the Griffons. They are overpopulating an already greatly fought over area,
and though it grieves me to end the lives of such mighty creatures I do so with
my best abilities. They are perfect training for me, and my life is rarely in
danger these days by their talons. I do feel a pain in mine heart when I have
to kill a Griffawn- the youngest of the Griffons that fly.

Finally,
as I wander near the mouth of the mountain pass leading out of the Steppes, I
also encounter the giant sentries that guardeth it. Such creatures intimidated
me much upon first sight, and even I am awed at how easy it can be to cause
such gigantic and brutal creatures to fall to the earth. Their heads block the
sun itself as they tower over me, and I must run by their feet with sweeping
speed to pound their heals with my mace and scorch their backs with Tunare’s
divine strike. The earth shaketh and stones rattle and fly upon the ground as
the hulk falleth upon the cold bed I have laid for it.

I
shall continue my hunt for resources closer to the lodgings of the Centaurs
themselves tomorrow.

-Iaria
of House Arelle

Israel- I AM

This morning I had a heart-to-heart with
God. Not a long one, rather short really… yet ongoing. Hard to explain. Either
way, I found myself slip into “godspeak”. No, not tongues or a prayer-language,
but anyone at CIU would recognize it… well, anyone used to church at all.
“Father God, please…” “Dear God” “Thank you, Lord Jesus” “You, Lord, are…”
“Please, Father…”  It sounds normal at
first, but it becomes automatic- you slip into it. Say it once, and it is okay,
but you find people praying and they say these things over, and over, and OVER
again. I want to get out of that- I’m talking to God, but I want to talk to Him
heart to heart and never by wrote. He reminded me when I fell into it, gently,
and kindly. He also told me that He has many, many names and any one of them
will work just fine. So I asked in my heart, “What’s the best one, you think?”
Well, he started reminding me a little of the list… and it actually became a
tangent. Imagine, God going on a tangent? *laughs*

This seems silly perhaps, I know, but
perhaps it might be something interesting to share with kids at least. God
reminded me one of his primary names in the Old Testament was “I AM”. Remember
Him telling Moses, “I am, that I am”. It is hard to get all that implies, but
it means he “exists”. God “is”. So, it is interesting, a name for Him could be
“Is”. Then I realised, oddly enough, God’s nation is “Israel”. Kind of
interesting, huh? Then I also realised that from the way it sounds, and even
one product made in Israel misspelled it this way, it is close to “IsReal”. God
“Is Real”! I think I sensed some amusement on His behalf at the whole affair.
God, believe it or not, can be amused. If you don’t think He has a sense of
humour, then you’d better read the Bible again.

Then I saw her face… now I’m a believer!

I have a story to tell, and it is going to
make this post continue in the long tradition of… well, LONG posts. But it is
VERY significant!

I started really seriously roleplay by
around 1997 online, in my second “online” game (the first was graphical but on
a BBS) but my first real “internet game” called The Realm (it is still around,
too, believe it or not). There, I encountered a person I soon called a dear
friend named Liz (I love her full name Elizabeth, personally, but it weirds her
out). We clicked well in a RP with my character and her character, Rastarin. I
forget the details of why, save for more in-depth and enjoyable RP, but we both
decided to create two new characters to RP with together. We based it slightly
on the Wheel of Time, by Robert Jordan, but altered it a little. Her character
was Jadenne, an Aes Sedai type character- and my character, Rennan, was like
her guardian Warder. Basically, Jadenne was a enchantress of sorts and Rennan
was her physical sword- to guard her from the threats magic couldn’t always
handle, or keep her safe when she was weak, etc. Like the character in Jordan’s
book, Moiraine (not sure of sp, sorry) and Lan, it was a unique match- they had
a subtle romance between them but it was not overt and it never became
outright. It was very well played. It was my first serious, in-depth RP
experience where I got to really RP well with a partner online- and started
around age 17 (1997, I was 17… my age goes by the years, oddly enough, since I
was born in 1980).

Even after the RP itself faded we kept in
touch. In the Summer of 1999 I went to England and stayed for 45 days. Most of
the time was with another friend I met through RP, but I spent one week and
another weekend with Liz. It is interesting to look back- that was my second
time out of the country, my first time going somewhere “on my own” really. I
made so many cultural mistakes and beyond. Knowing Liz before that, she had
really helped to reflect my strengths and weaknesses to me- and being there
myself, I think, brought out that even more. Parts of me were mature for my
age- other parts very underdeveloped, and that came out more when I visited. I
had an incredible experience there though- with Liz, I did some LARPing (Live
Action Role Play) in costume and with a bunch of British around which was
great! It was like immersing myself into a fantasy world. I was so sad to
leave- though I’d imagine, due to my mistakes, they weren’t totally sad to see
me go *chuckles*. Not to wrong Liz of course- she was very supportive in my
time there, and quite tolerant.

We kept in touch after that, but without
the regular RP contact things faded a lot. The last real contact I had with her
was right around my wedding by email. It seemed luck that we kept in touch that
long, really, since she had changed emails and her old one she only checked on
a whim. Now, when I met her, she considered herself a Christian. She had been
healed miraculously by a travelling evangelist of sorts and felt she had given
herself to Christ. However, having involved herself a lot in the LARP she began
to lean towards the mystical element and eventually began to pursue being part
of a Bardic/Druidic order. She shared with me that she realised she never
really had been a Christian, not in her heart, and that she was going to be a
Bard. She knew my beliefs, and while I don’t believe I ever said anything to
make her feel badly- she seemed to feel uncomfortable around me after that,
especially around that whole topic itself. I’m worried that hard a part in
pushing us apart- that, and her changing relationships. I wish she hadn’t
worried- for I loved her the whole time (it wasn’t romantic, you sillies, so
relax) and it hurt to see us drift. Of course, what hurt the most is more
recently in the last year- when I tried to email her, she never responded. I
realised that, knowing her, if she had gotten it she would have responded- she
must have changed her email. I had no other way of contacting her. It was over.

The last time I emailed her was in the last
month or so.

Last night, I was playing Everquest 2- my
one online game, and definitely a place I enjoy and love. I get to RP some
there too, and it is my hobby. I was having a very good day on the game, but
played just a bit in the evening and my female High Elf (I don’t let anyone
know that OOCly (out of character) I am a guy unless I know them a little… it
helps the RP be more immersive, and since it is a game I don’t feel it is
deceptive at all, rather part of the nature of the play. I don’t let
friendships get far without explaining if I need to). I was about ready to log
out, not really focusing on the game a lot with Kat turning our kitchen into a
virtual candy bakery for a bake sale today. I was walking through the High Elf
area of the city, where Iaria (my High Elf character) lives, and noticed
someone named Jadenne just standing there. Jadenne?! The only Jadenne I have
ever, ever seen in my life was the character Liz played. I suppose it could
have been in a book I did not know about- but I was pretty sure she made it up.
It was worth checking- with my luck, she probably wasn’t even at the keyboard
anyway. I approached her as Iaria, and said “*looks closely* Hmm, that name… it
reminds me of something…” I forgot, in my hurry, that ICly (in character) she
couldn’t “see” the name, but I glossed that over later. “What name?” was
something she responded. “Thou hast not, by chance, ever known a man by the
name of Rennan?” “Why… yes, I have.”

Of course, by this point, all character was
thrown aside. I told her (privately, since it wasn’t IC anymore), “Liz?” My
heart still warms when I remember it, and her reply, “PATRICK???!!!!” What a
reunion. How incredible! And then… she tells me that she has known me, in the
game (without actually knowing it was me) since I first came in March as her
other character!! Oddly enough, Iaria found her other character rather annoying
at that! *laughs* She hadn’t seen her char much for a few months, but they had
bumped into each other a bit at first, and roleplayed some. Yet I would never,
ever had known it was her unless I had seen Jadenne.

Liz told me she never reuses names. To my
knowledge, she hasn’t ever done it before. Yet she needed to make a new
character to get away from her guild leadership a bit, and relax, or what-not.
She had thought back to the Realm, and our RP, and on a whim I guess she
decided she wanted to use Jadenne again. And it is because of that choice- and
her being there, at that place and time, and me happening to notice the name…
that we met. Without that, we’d have never met again- ever. My dear friend from
England, brought back- totally by God.

When I told her I felt that God, whom I
believe moves actively, had a hand in it- she agreed! She said that her week,
this week, had been unreal. A relative had died, his sons her cousins, and they
had his funeral that week. He had been a minister, and I think one or more of
his sons were now too. He had songs at his funeral about the blood of Jesus,
his favourite songs, and two of them had kept in her head. It kept in her mind,
and the experience and God had kept coming to her. She felt that definitely,
our incredible “chance” meeting was connected to what was occurring.

How incredible and wonderful? She plays EQ2
regularly, and I hope to even meet up with her very soon online. Not only do I
have a new regular friend to play and RP with, but I also have a dear life-long
friend back! I pray that, by God’s grace, I will never loose touch with her
again.

-Patrick

There is quite a story behind it, but, as it is, I will make it simple.

I'd appreciate your prayers and support, in general- especially for
Katrina, for she is very strong and open to God's leading in this
matter. This Monday, I am going to New Orleans with my church under the
Assemblies of God national relief organization to distribute food with
their food relief program. I will be there for a week, at least. This
is an exciting turn of events (exciting in the sense of God answering
prayer, and also the fact that he answered Kat's prayers as well... I
knew he was tugging me to go to New Orleans, but Red Cross requirse 3
weeks (2 at minimum) and Kat couldn't handle that. But she vented to
God, and God listened quietly- then, as she waited for an answer, the
church called me and I called her. She said "That seems to be His
answer".)

So, while I was planning to stay here, now, I am not. I am going to get
to go to the leading edge of what is going on and give what I have to
give to really, truly help. This is what I was trained for! I was
trained for mission work- and this is what it is, intercultural
missionary relief within our own country in a disaster situation. I
cannot give money, like many others- but I can give myself, my body, my
time, and my training to love and help others! Since it is with a
Church group, I can also more freely share Christ.

If things go as planned, I will be leaving South Carolina on Monday at this point.

-Patrick

I'm going to get responses again! Woo woo!

Why?

Because we've decided the name for our little boy, finally... we've
settled on one. But if you want to know, you will have to ask- either
by email, or by comment. Ha! So no sneaking and peaking, you guys. Yes,
you quiet ones you! If you want to know our boy's OFFICIAL new name,
you will have to ask me personally- no lurking!

I will say that our nickname for him now will be ARF! But those won't be his initials, hee hee, so that won't help you.

-Patrick